SURVIVOR

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This week on... Survivor

Zhan Hu ("Team Yellow") is made up of:
Ashley(gone)
"Chicken"(gone)
Dave(gone)
Erik
"Frosti"
Jamie
Peih-Gee
Sherea

Fei Long ("Team Denise") is made up of:
Aaron
Amanda
Courtney
Denise
James
Jean-Robert
Leslie(gone)
Todd

We open with a metaphor, the sleeping panda. The sleeping panda stands for Team Yellow, who have spent their first Dave-free day sleeping in. Also like the panda, Team Yellow is comprised of blacks, whites and Asians. Later, in the water, Erik and Jamie make puppy-eyes at each other. Erik describes it as being like "Adam and Eve. Just, being in nature, hanging out." Must be a different Bible than I own, cause when I think of "being like Adam and Eve", there's only one thing "hanging out". Erik then tells Jamie he's from Virginia and she's totally cool with that. No, wait, he tells her he's a virgin (good for you Erik!), and she nearly breaks her face trying not to grimace.

At Team Denise's camp, we find out that James has a little bit of a crush on Denise. That is both a little scary and totally awesome. First Denise gushes about James' work ethic and how well they click and then James says "If she were a little younger or I was a little older, she'd be in trouble." James, the Mack Daddy Crocodile Dundee of Grave Diggers!

No Reward Challenge this weekend, instead a boat pulls up to Team Denise's camp with a note. The note says "Pick two players from Team Yellow and they will become part of your tribe." Team Denise realizes that this means they are going to lose two of their best players in a switch and everyone starts fretting about losing James, especially Jean-Robert, as he has no other friends on Team Denise. Team Denise decides to snag Frosti and Sherea because they are the quickest and best competitors from Team Yellow.

Over at Team Yellow, they get a similar note. While Team Denise realizes that this note means that they're losing two members, Team Yellow is psyched, absolutely PSYCHED that they are gaining two new members, which will "put them up" 7-5. How the camera men kept from laughing is beyond me. Team Yellow picks up James and Aaron, figuring that if they lose, they can then eliminate the two strongest players in the game.

New boats arrive at each camp. Team Denise is not surprised to see that James is on the list, or that Aaron will be going with him. James has no connection to Aaron, so he's worried about going to the new camp. Jean-Robert is almost besides himself. "This is a bad day for [Team Denise] and it's sure as hell a bad day for Jean-Robert" says the poker playing bad boy.

Back at Team Yellow, they are shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, that they do not gain 2 members, but are instead trading two players. People are sobbing as they lose Sherea and Frosti. At least they still have Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger.

As the boats pass each other, both tribes are plotting. Jean-Robert tries to get everyone on board for voting off one of the newcomers first but most people see this as an opportunity to cut Jean-Robert loose. Even Jean-Robert realizes this is what the new plan is, but he keeps trying to push his case. At Team Yellow, Peih-Gee and Jamie decide the best course of action is to throw the challenge and get rid of James and then Aaron. Because, you know, when the producers have suddenly HANDED you the two best players in the game, the smart thing to do is to squander that. Peih-Gee feels that she's playing for the future though, as if they merge at 10, they will be 5 on 5 for tribe members instead of 7-3. It always surprises me how certain people are about when a merge will happen, as the show always screws with it. One year there was no merge, because Ian and Tom wiped the other team off the map. Other years they've merged at 11 or 9, or 8. So this is potentially shooting themselves in the foot.

Team Yellow wants to throw the challenge, but with James and Aaron on your side, is that even possible? Let's find out at-

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE!
Two people will race out to a floating dock. One at a time they dive into the water and pull out wooden polls that are trapping the 12 signs of the Chinese zodiac in a cage. Once all 12 signs have floated to the top, you throw them in a boat, swim it back to shore and then the other three people will put the pieces where they go. Amanda and a phosphorescent tongue depressor both sit out for Team Denise. Oh, wait, that's Courtney. Gak. Seriously, I fear her shoulder blades are going to poke through her skin.

Aaron and Erik go out to get Team Yellow's pieces, Jean-Robert and Frosti for the other side. Jamie is already making it obvious she doesn't care by yelling "Take your time! Rest if you need to!" to which James tells her to hush up. Erik, however, is not in on the game throwing, and he and Aaron get the pieces out quickly and gain a sizable lead over Team Denise. Jean-Robert seems to collapse off the float on their trip back and almost sinks all of his pieces back into the water.

Things look good for the new Team Yellow but the Step-sisters won't be denied. Jamie throws one of the pieces behind the puzzle so it's hidden, and then the two of them proceed to laugh and lollygag their way through the challenge until Team Denise not only catches but passes them, winning the challenge.

Back at camp James is ticked, and rightfully so. He chews out both Peih-Gee and Jamie, who are still trying not to laugh in his face. Aaron figures out something must be up and they send Erik to find out. Erik is not happy to find out that they threw the challenge, but Jamie has boobs, and she may some day let Erik see them, so it's not like he's going to turn on them. James and Aaron both know they're sunk, they just don't know who will go first at-

TRIBAL COUNCIL
Probsts almost immediately calls the girls on throwing the challenge. "I've been around a few times, and it looked like you didn't care if you won," he says. Did you throw the challenge he asks? "Yes sir," replies Jamie. This only makes James more annoyed and he says they may as well get rid of him now. So they go to vote.
Peih-Gee. James. Ja-Aaron? Huh that's... Aaron again? Well I can't- AARON! And out of nowhere, Aaron is gone!


BONADUCE SLAM!

And so begins the great Survivor: China screw job. Proving once again, that just like in real life, if you are good at what you do, if you are strong or smart, people will dislike you for it and they will do their best to take you down.

ELIMINATED
Chicken (Yellow)
Ashley (Yellow)
Leslie (Denise)
Dave (Yellow)
Aaron (Denise)

NEXT WEEK!
Racing through buildings! Being lucky the hidden Immunity Idol isn't a Bear! And Eating! Says Denise "GLARARRRRRAARRRAAAAAA!!!!"