Star Worz


Friday, April 10, 2009


This is a recording of a Lenten monologue I wrote for Bethlehem Lutheran Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The title of the piece was "Moses: God's Promise In Love". The young man performing is Dominic Running and I think he does a fantastic job.

Moses: God's Promise in Love from Bethlehem Lutheran on Vimeo.

Labels: , ,

Friday, April 03, 2009


Peter King is a sports columnist who writes for Sports Illustrated and King's column on the internet includes a section called "Ten Things I Think I Think." Please, I encourage you, read that title again. Ten Things I THINK I THIIIIIINK. So Peter King, who is paid to give his opinion, can't be bothered to list ten things he thinks. Not even that he knows, just that he THINKS. No, instead he'll list ten things he THINKS he THINKS. And they're not even all about sports, the very thing he is paid to write about!

That... that's some great logic right there. Cause you can't ever be wrong. "Peter, #3 on your list is that Dogs have laser eyes. That's ridiculous." "Oh no, it's okay. I just think that I MIGHT think that." "Well in that case, here's another $100,000."

Now, there are a lot of people that thinks Peter King is
not a good news writer. But I figure, hey, I can rip this gimmick off and use it for my own personal gain.

So I now proudly present on a semi-regular basis "5 Things My Gut Tells Me I Should Probably Believe"

5 Things My Gut Tells Me I Should Probably Believe
1. The only time I wear sweatshirts is when it's too cold to sweat. Quick, someone think of a new name for them!
2. I don't think we've seen the last of this Sham-wow guy.
3. Finally, I get what the hype was all about for ER. Consider my DVR already set for next season.
4. All hockey players must be really good on roller skates.
5. Now that Bruce Willis is married again, does that mean no Die Hard 5?

Labels: , ,

Wednesday, April 01, 2009


On Monday I saw this commercial

On Tuesday I went and ate this burger.

It tasted like this.

But it didn't matter, because Hardee's already had my $7.50 with tax.

Who are the ad geniuses who came up with this ad?

Whoever they are, they deserve raises.

Labels: , ,

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

FOX Said These Guys Were Hacks

Yesterday I was watching "I'm On A Boat", the latest SNL Digital Short by The Lonely Island boys. If you enjoyed "Dick In A Box", "Lazy Sunday", "Jizzed In My Pants" etc, you'll enjoy this one. If you didn't enjoy those, you'll still enjoy this one, because this one has T-Pain.

After watching the video a dozen or so times, I wondered "Hmmm... when will Andy Sandberg have a musical comedy album like Jimmy Fallon or Adam Sandler?" Then I thought "That's stupid, Andy works in a visual medium. Plus, he's part of a trio, he'd never put out an album."

Today, I was handed this:

I swear to you this is an actual album, I am holding it in my hand while I type. Which has cut my typing speed by half. It is NINETEEN tracks plus a DVD with NINE videos. BOLD LETTERS!

And just think, these are guys that were once beat-up by Keifer Sutherland.

Labels: , , ,

Monday, January 19, 2009


Joe Buck during the Eagles final drive on Sunday against the Cardinals, said with great dramatic emphasis: "Has there ever been a drive that earned someone a spot in the Hall of Fame?"

Me at home: "Yeah, 'The Drive'."

Joe Buck has no idea who I am

Labels: , ,

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


This is belated, but I just found this particular video today.

These guys are The Bloomington Bros. You can find their stuff on YouTube, or on
College Humor. They are from Minnesota and they are hilarious.

The election may already be over, but this is funny every day.

Labels: , ,

Friday, January 09, 2009


Baskin-Robbins makes an Oreo Shake. A large Oreo Shake, according to their own site, contains 90% of your daily calcium and 80% of your daily iron needs.

Oh, and it also 2600 calories, 1220 of them from fat.

What do you expect from a "food" that's described as "A chocolate lover’s dream-come-true! It starts with an irresistible blend of Chocolate Oreo ice cream and decadent hot fudge, topped with whipped cream, chocolate drizzle and crushed Oreo Cookie pieces."

For those of you who don't like to do math, that's just over two days of your recommended intake of fat and almost three days worth of saturated fat.

I bet it taste like magic. Seriously, anything that bad for you has to taste like four kinds of fantastic.

Forget the host wafer. This:

is what Jesus tastes like.

Labels: , ,