YOU MESS WITH THE BULL, SON...
In a story sweeping the Internet, Danny "Boom Boom" Bonaduce dropped Jon "Johnny Fairplay" Dalton on October 2nd (and on his head) at the Fox Reality Really Channel Awards. ... wait, that's got to be made up. Huh? No? That's... that's a legit show? That's a legit award?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
Ug, it makes my skin crawl just to think about it. An award show devoted entirely to people who so desperately want fame, they act like total psychos on "reality" television. They're already rewarded for this degenerate behavior by VH1 who spins even tertiary characters on reality show spin-offs into their own shows and MTV who apparently allows you to just plug your home movies directly into their broadcast tower. Now they get an Award show too? What's the prize? A hobby? A long hot shower? Penicillin?
Gak! And I just ate, too.
Anyway, at this *shudder* award show, Johnny Fairplay was up on the stage, doing some sort of shtick. Any video I've found starts there, so I don't know why he was up there. Maybe he'd rushed the stage ala Kanye West, after being robbed of the "Best Reality Character to Pro Wrestler Transition" Award (which, if that was an actual category, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was, he would have rightfully lost to Real Worlder Mike "The Miz" Mizanin).
So, he's up there and the crowd is booing. Which is normal when confronted with Johnny Fairplay. Well, that and projectile vomiting. Enter Danny Bonaduce.
Bonaduce: They're booing... because they HATE you.
Crowd: YAYS!!
Bonaduce, having said his piece (and looking like he's already had 2 more cocktails than he should have), starts to leave. Johnny Fairplay gets this biiiiig grin on his face and taps Bonaduce on the shoulder.
Fairplay gives another giant grin, takes a few steps back, and then Leaps. Into. Bonaduce's. Arms.
But wait-
He starts Humping Bonaduce.
Danny Bondacue.
Danny "Boom Boom" Bonaduce.
Danny Bonaduce once beat up a Transvestite Prostitute who outweighed him by 70 pounds.
Danny Bonaduce has boxed Robert "The Juice Is Loose" Shapiro.
Danny Bonaduce mopped the floor with Greg Brady.
Johnny Fairplay lied about his grandmother's demise and weighs 100 pounds soaking wet and holding two 30 pounds bags of cement.
So Bonaduce does what anyone who is suddenly jumped by a curly haired moron that has leaped into your arms and started humping you would do. He dumped him on his head.
Sorry Johnny, but The Tribe Has Spoken:
BONADUCE SMASH!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
Ug, it makes my skin crawl just to think about it. An award show devoted entirely to people who so desperately want fame, they act like total psychos on "reality" television. They're already rewarded for this degenerate behavior by VH1 who spins even tertiary characters on reality show spin-offs into their own shows and MTV who apparently allows you to just plug your home movies directly into their broadcast tower. Now they get an Award show too? What's the prize? A hobby? A long hot shower? Penicillin?
Gak! And I just ate, too.
Anyway, at this *shudder* award show, Johnny Fairplay was up on the stage, doing some sort of shtick. Any video I've found starts there, so I don't know why he was up there. Maybe he'd rushed the stage ala Kanye West, after being robbed of the "Best Reality Character to Pro Wrestler Transition" Award (which, if that was an actual category, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was, he would have rightfully lost to Real Worlder Mike "The Miz" Mizanin).
So, he's up there and the crowd is booing. Which is normal when confronted with Johnny Fairplay. Well, that and projectile vomiting. Enter Danny Bonaduce.
Bonaduce: They're booing... because they HATE you.
Crowd: YAYS!!
Bonaduce, having said his piece (and looking like he's already had 2 more cocktails than he should have), starts to leave. Johnny Fairplay gets this biiiiig grin on his face and taps Bonaduce on the shoulder.
Fairplay gives another giant grin, takes a few steps back, and then Leaps. Into. Bonaduce's. Arms.
But wait-
He starts Humping Bonaduce.
Danny Bondacue.
Danny "Boom Boom" Bonaduce.
Danny Bonaduce once beat up a Transvestite Prostitute who outweighed him by 70 pounds.
Danny Bonaduce has boxed Robert "The Juice Is Loose" Shapiro.
Danny Bonaduce mopped the floor with Greg Brady.
Johnny Fairplay lied about his grandmother's demise and weighs 100 pounds soaking wet and holding two 30 pounds bags of cement.
So Bonaduce does what anyone who is suddenly jumped by a curly haired moron that has leaped into your arms and started humping you would do. He dumped him on his head.
Sorry Johnny, but The Tribe Has Spoken:
posted by Matt Worzala at
1:02 PM
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