PLEASE STOP

In regards to Camera-gate or Spy-gate or Belichick-gate or whatever you want to call it, please stop.

Same with Nipple-gate.

Same with Washington-gate.

Same with "Whatever"-gate.

Please stop using "gate" as your go-to shorthand for scandal. Watergate was not a Water-scandal, it was the name of the hotel that was serving as the Democratic National Convention. It was that building that five men broke in to in order to steal documents related to Democratic candidates that could then be used against them in elections. It was President Nixon's ties to this break-in that ultimately lead to him leaving office rather than face impeachment.

THAT'S a scandal. When the President of the country is accused of paying people to commit crimes so he can spy on his own opponents to keep himself in power. That's what Watergate means.

You think a nipple appearing for a kabillion-th of a second rivals that? You think an unintelligent comment by an ignorant man rivals that? You think a football team trying to get an edge on another football team by cheating rivals that?

Wrong. Wrong. And Wrong.

So please, do me a favor and stop throwing "-gate" around like it's a parsley sprig at Denny's. If you have to call them something, call them uproars. Uproar is a good word. And it could use the publicity.