WORZALA'S WEDNESDAY WORD 11-22-06

Today's Wednesday Word is "Thanksgiving" as in "Tomorrow is Thanksgiving."

I know, creative, isn't it?

Thanksgiving is my third favorite holiday of the year, proceeded only by the birthdays of two legendary First Amendment advocates, myself and Larry Flynt. However, since our birthdays are the same day, I'll give Thanksgiving the benefit of the doubt and push it up to number two.

Thanksgiving is a great American holiday because it combines our spiritual side (being thankful for the many blessings we have) with our consumer side (eating food until you fall asleep, only to rise and eat some more). There are few other times these two conflicting urges so perfectly mesh. I can't think of an instance since, and I'm sure you remember them, the commemorative The Passion Of The Christ cross nails.

This will be my first Thanksgiving with a significant other, as normally I dump my lady friends right after they've given me my birthday gift.

Me: Hey great, The BBC Office series! I love you-
Girl: I love you too.
Me: -BBC Office series.
Girl: ...
Me: Yeah, we should probably talk.

But my current favorite girl in the whole wide world sidestepped this procedure by getting my gift almost a full month before my birthday. Clever girl that one, which is another reason I keep her around. And since I love her and she loves me, we're going to each other's Thanksgivings this year. I've heard horror stories of how this is a grave mistake, but I think we'll be alright. I think we both can put up with just about anything if it will get us two free meals. That's yet another thing I love about her.

I worry about her meeting my family a little bit, mostly because they're a little... nuts isn't the right word... wait, yes it is. Give you an example, my cousin and her husband are planning on getting wasted the night before because they believe they are more fun hung-over, and they want to be entertaining while my girlfriend is there. So that's their plan, to get rip roaring drunk to entice her to stick around longer.

Even so, I wasn't that worried until I had this conversation with my mother tonight.

Mom: So, you'll be coming over tomorrow around 11?
Me: Yup.
Mom: And did you warn her about the family?
Me: ... no.
Mom: You should probably do that.
Me: ... I'll warn her tonight.

When your own mom is telling you to warn your girlfriend before she meets the family, you should probably warn your girlfriend.

Then it's off to her folks' place, where it's my turn to be the outsider. Her parents live in the woods. Not the boonies, mind you, the actual-in-the-middle-of-the-woods-woods. Her dad apparently cleared land to build their home. The plus side will be that there's no way we're getting into a fight that ends in me storming off, because their driveway's a quarter mile long and I don't know if I could find my way back to town.

Me: -WELL SAME TO YOU!!
Her: FINE!
Me: FINE!
Her: I HATE YOU!
Me: I'M OUT OF HERE!
*slam*
Me: ... umm... hmmm... hey, baby? How do you get out of here?
*wolf howl*
Me: And, uh, is your dog out here?

So it should be an adventure, and as we all know, I love adventures. We'll see how this goes, and then maybe we'll start discussing Arbor Day plans.