A-MUSING

I was watching Carlos Mencia on Sunday night. I didn't mean to watch him, I was over at a friend's house and we just sort of stumbled upon it. It wasn't his show, thank goodness. His show, in my opinion, is not very funny. Especially when it serves as a constant reminder that Dave Chappelle USED to have a show and it USED to be hysterical, and then he went crazy/not crazy/crazy on drugs/to Africa/all of the above and now all we're left with is "Mind of Mencia" and "Drawn Together".

Carlos Mencia, like Dane Cook, is one of those comedians that you can use as a litmus test for whomever you're dealing with. You will usually not get a wishy-washy answer on either of these two. It's either, hysterical or blows-so-hard-they-affect-weather-patterns. Personally, I like Dane Cook. I realize it's become the "cool kid" thing now to hate him, but I remember when he was doing 5 minute bits on Premium Blend about the rest room. I thought he was funny then and I still find him amusing now. Maybe it's all the fame that seems to be suddenly thrown his way. I don't know. I think he's worked for it. He certainly has worked his butt off to get his name out there. If these are the rewards he's reaped for that effort, good for him. If he truly is nothing but crap painted gold and polished up and we've all been fooled into making him a superstar... well good for him there too. That's one on the board for him. It's the same reason I can't get too mad at Nickleback. Sure, I don't think they're a great band. Sure, they have three songs: Ballad, Fast and Half-fast. Sure, their lead singer looks like he went 10 rounds with the Ugly Tree. But darn if they don't sell. Congrats to them on figuring out what the people want and giving it to them.

But back to Carlos Mencia. I don't really like him. I don't find him all that funny. I don't know if I'm offended by it, I don't usually listen long enough for that to happen. I just think his jokes are stupid. But on Sunday I was watching his stand-up special and I was actually laughing at parts. Turns out, the guy can actually tell a funny story.

And then it all went to pot again. First, any time he talks about women he sounds like the most recently dumped, booze filled, frat boy ragging about how all women are b****es who are trying to change and dupe men away from being "real men". Now, I'd like to consider myself a real man- wait let me check- yup still there, and I got bored of his bit in about 5 seconds. Sadly, he went on for about 5 minutes and then revisited the topic for his ender. His ender, by the way, consisted of him yelling about how he's a man while shoving his hand down his pants, pulling it out, and smelling it. ... ... ...

Riiiiiight. Preach on Carlos.

Second, and maybe this is just me, but if you spend 2 minutes telling a joke, then 10 minutes defending why you can tell that joke, then another 5 minutes defending why you shouldn't have to defend your right to tell that joke, topped off with another 3 minutes defending the joke, maybe, just maybe, the joke isn't that great in the first place. And that's how I got to watch him do 30 minutes about why handicapped jokes are okay. It was basically an extended "some of my best friends are..." excuse.

Preach on Carlos.

Do they still give out Cable Ace awards? If so, I'd like to nominate "Mind of Mencia" for one. Boy, I bet that'd be a great acceptance speech. Just don't try and play him off the stage early, because otherwise he'll never get to mention that he's Mexican. I bet you didn't know that, did you?