WHOOPS

From: God Almighty
Heaven

RE: Lost Prayers

To Whom It May Concern,

It has come to My all knowing attention lately that some of My beloved's prayers have recently been found floating in the water off the coast of New Jersey. For that I would like to express My deepest apologies. Between the World Series, upcoming elections and the on-going war in Iraq, We have just been swamped with prayer requests. It has been necessary, therefore, to shift extra heavenly servants into the prayer answering department. It is believed that one of these newer angels was responsible for the loss after disposing of the prayers in error, thinking they had already been answered. This is, of course, no excuse and as All That Is, Was, and Ever Will Be, I accept full responsibility for the misplacement of these prayers. If your prayer was one of the ones returned in error, you may resubmit it to Heaven with no penalty. Our business hours are Sundays from 7 a.m. to Noon, with additional hours available on Saturday in the evening for your convenience.

I would also like to apologize for the letters ending up in the Atlantic Ocean. As you know over 70% of the planet I created for you is water, but that is no excuse. The Alpha and The Omega knows when He is in the wrong, and this is one of ... well, actually, the only time. Hopefully the last. Cross your fingers. How are those working out for you anyway? Good? I certainly hope so.

Please, as always feel free to contact Me if you experience any further prayer problems. Remember however, that I am The Great I Am and exist outside of your sense of "time". So please allow 4-6 business weeks for a response, 6-9 weeks during the winter holiday season.

Be Excellent To Each Other,
God