TO LIVE THE AMERICAN DREAM
I have a friend, his name is Kevin, he runs a website incompetech.com that specializes in, besides other things, graph paper. It's a hugely popular site. Seriously, go to Google, type in "graphing paper" and hit search. It'll probably be the number two site listed. That's how popular it is. Kevin's site also had ads on it. The ads generate enough money that Kevin has been able to leave his other job and live soley on his internet income.
Speaking of Google, they recently spent over $1 billion to buy www.youtube.com. One. Billion. Dollars. For a site who's content is 45% poorly lit home movies and 50% music videos made entirely from anime/Final Fantasy clips.
Meanwhile Tani just hit 100,000 visitors to her blog this week. While no one is handing her a billion dollars, she makes enough money off of it to keep her in booze. And if you know Tani, you know that's a good amount of money.
So this week, while walking with my girlfriend, I crafted my American dream. She and I are going to team up to create a one-two punch of blogs. Star Worz and... I don't know, something with a catchy title. Her website will be chock full of pictures and homemade videos while Star Worz will continue to bring you the hard hitting journalistic activism (or journavism) that you've come to know and love. Once the cash starts rolling in we're going to travel. Oregon for a while, Vermont for a bit more. Six month rents that are easy to grab due to spotless credit reports. Wire fraud doesn't follow you from state to state does it? (Note to self: Watch episode of Matlock about wire fraud) During our travels we'll set up a third blog, a Travel Blog, full of pictures and amusing anecdotes about our travels.
After a couple of years we'll return home. We'll turn the travel blog into a book and sell it for, I don't know, is $15.99 USA $18.99 Canadian a price? If it is, that's what we'll sell the book for. See that? We're going to make money off a book based on a blog that we were making money off of in the first place. That's what economists call "dual profitability" and Sir Mix-a-lot calls "Unh! Double up, Unhhh! Unhhh!"
With the money rolling in and our economic future secured she's finally going to be able to follow her passion of washing dogs full time. In her spare time she'll paint and make little movies out of clay. I'll continue to write plays that are "New, original, local, adventuresome, thought-out, fun" and in my spare time help build scenery for theatres. We'll celebrate the anniversary of our first year of financial independence by backpacking through Europe, which we'll again chronicle in a new Travel Blog. And a video documentary. Which will become a DVD. And a book deal. And a DVD-two-book Holiday package at all Barnes and Noble/Borders retailers.
That is my new American dream. I would have been skeptical about it all happening, but this week I received a package from Jenifer as part of a deal we had regarding my blog. I figure, if I can use this space to get myself free dinosaur models, then there's no limit to what I can achieve.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to assemble a Stegosaurus. Did you know they were bigger than a limo? Cause they were.
Speaking of Google, they recently spent over $1 billion to buy www.youtube.com. One. Billion. Dollars. For a site who's content is 45% poorly lit home movies and 50% music videos made entirely from anime/Final Fantasy clips.
Meanwhile Tani just hit 100,000 visitors to her blog this week. While no one is handing her a billion dollars, she makes enough money off of it to keep her in booze. And if you know Tani, you know that's a good amount of money.
So this week, while walking with my girlfriend, I crafted my American dream. She and I are going to team up to create a one-two punch of blogs. Star Worz and... I don't know, something with a catchy title. Her website will be chock full of pictures and homemade videos while Star Worz will continue to bring you the hard hitting journalistic activism (or journavism) that you've come to know and love. Once the cash starts rolling in we're going to travel. Oregon for a while, Vermont for a bit more. Six month rents that are easy to grab due to spotless credit reports. Wire fraud doesn't follow you from state to state does it? (Note to self: Watch episode of Matlock about wire fraud) During our travels we'll set up a third blog, a Travel Blog, full of pictures and amusing anecdotes about our travels.
After a couple of years we'll return home. We'll turn the travel blog into a book and sell it for, I don't know, is $15.99 USA $18.99 Canadian a price? If it is, that's what we'll sell the book for. See that? We're going to make money off a book based on a blog that we were making money off of in the first place. That's what economists call "dual profitability" and Sir Mix-a-lot calls "Unh! Double up, Unhhh! Unhhh!"
With the money rolling in and our economic future secured she's finally going to be able to follow her passion of washing dogs full time. In her spare time she'll paint and make little movies out of clay. I'll continue to write plays that are "New, original, local, adventuresome, thought-out, fun" and in my spare time help build scenery for theatres. We'll celebrate the anniversary of our first year of financial independence by backpacking through Europe, which we'll again chronicle in a new Travel Blog. And a video documentary. Which will become a DVD. And a book deal. And a DVD-two-book Holiday package at all Barnes and Noble/Borders retailers.
That is my new American dream. I would have been skeptical about it all happening, but this week I received a package from Jenifer as part of a deal we had regarding my blog. I figure, if I can use this space to get myself free dinosaur models, then there's no limit to what I can achieve.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to assemble a Stegosaurus. Did you know they were bigger than a limo? Cause they were.
posted by Matt Worzala at
1:02 PM
2 Comments:
I am so glad I could help you achieve the American dream, one plastic dino bone at a time. You *must* stop by Seattle on your tour, and we'll take a limo around the city. Perhaps we can stop by Bill Gates' house, because you'll be richer than him, and he will insist on having you over for ostrich burgers.
By
Jen, at 4:53 PM
Hey Matt,
Now that my comment contest is done, you should go back to your old comments settings. Otherwise, you'll keep getting anonymous comments from assclown spammers.
By
Jen, at 11:01 AM
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