WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
1. You are a man who owns a CB radio. You wind up getting into an argument with a fellow CB enthusiast. Do you-
a) Brush the whole thing off. After all, the world's full of all kinds.
b) Call him a nasty/derogatory name, go outside, kick something.
c) Carry on a CB feud for 6 years.
2. You wake up one Saturday morning six years later and turn on your CB radio. Your hated rival announces over the airwaves that he's going to go pick up a gift at the Apopka, South Florida Wal-Mart. Do you-
a) Ignore it. Maybe even turn off the CB for a change.
b) Call him a nasty/derogatory name, go outside, kick a small animal
c) Go on the CB and announce you're going to the Wal-Mart as well "to settle your dispute and that you would have something for him"
3. You arrive at the Wal-Mart. You spot your rival across the parking lot. He gets out of his vehicle and begins walking towards your truck. Do you-
a) Get out of the truck and use this opportunity to finally meet and begin healing.
b) Call him a nasty/derogatory name, get out of your truck, kick him in the shin.
c) Get out of the truck, bringing your can of Mace along.
4. Uh-oh. Guess who brought a gun to a Mace fight. Do you-
a) Beg. Run. Maybe wet yourself a little.
b) Call him a nasty/derogatory name, kick him in the gun.
c) Mace him in the eye-holes.
SCORING:
Each a) answer is 1 point, b) is two and c) is three
1-5: Good for you. You've obviously got more going on in your life than CB radios and Wal-Mart parking lot brawls. Probably not a significant other though, you're kind of a push-over.
6-9: You've got quite the mouth on you, sailor. But your tendency to kick your problems to a solution is going to get you in trouble. Might I suggest working in a punch or two from time to time?
10-12: Congratulations, you are Paul Goldman! Your inability to let things go, coupled with a quaint 19th century notion of personal defense not only wastes a lot of your time, but got you SHOT IN THE HEAD. Don't worry though, it was just a flesh wound. Enjoy your time in the Orange County Jail.
a) Brush the whole thing off. After all, the world's full of all kinds.
b) Call him a nasty/derogatory name, go outside, kick something.
c) Carry on a CB feud for 6 years.
2. You wake up one Saturday morning six years later and turn on your CB radio. Your hated rival announces over the airwaves that he's going to go pick up a gift at the Apopka, South Florida Wal-Mart. Do you-
a) Ignore it. Maybe even turn off the CB for a change.
b) Call him a nasty/derogatory name, go outside, kick a small animal
c) Go on the CB and announce you're going to the Wal-Mart as well "to settle your dispute and that you would have something for him"
3. You arrive at the Wal-Mart. You spot your rival across the parking lot. He gets out of his vehicle and begins walking towards your truck. Do you-
a) Get out of the truck and use this opportunity to finally meet and begin healing.
b) Call him a nasty/derogatory name, get out of your truck, kick him in the shin.
c) Get out of the truck, bringing your can of Mace along.
4. Uh-oh. Guess who brought a gun to a Mace fight. Do you-
a) Beg. Run. Maybe wet yourself a little.
b) Call him a nasty/derogatory name, kick him in the gun.
c) Mace him in the eye-holes.
SCORING:
Each a) answer is 1 point, b) is two and c) is three
1-5: Good for you. You've obviously got more going on in your life than CB radios and Wal-Mart parking lot brawls. Probably not a significant other though, you're kind of a push-over.
6-9: You've got quite the mouth on you, sailor. But your tendency to kick your problems to a solution is going to get you in trouble. Might I suggest working in a punch or two from time to time?
10-12: Congratulations, you are Paul Goldman! Your inability to let things go, coupled with a quaint 19th century notion of personal defense not only wastes a lot of your time, but got you SHOT IN THE HEAD. Don't worry though, it was just a flesh wound. Enjoy your time in the Orange County Jail.
posted by Matt Worzala at
2:49 PM
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