WORZALA'S WEDNESDAY WORD 7-19-06
Today's word is "bulletin" as in "You need to chill out with your bulletins on MySpace."
As many of you know, I have a friend named Tani. Tani is the reason I started this blog as well as the reason why I got a MySpace page. Tani seems to spend a lot of her down time coming up with ideas for me. Which is fine, because it frees up my thinking time for drinking or playing video games. When Tani comes up with an idea for me I've learned that it's best to just go along with it. Otherwise it's just like fighting quicksand, you're only going to get tired resisting.
So now I have a MySpace page and it's pretty nice. You can listen to music, find old friends, trick girls into flying to the Middle East to be your child bride, all sorts of things. One of the other things you can do is post bulletins. Bulletins go to all of your friends and are a nice way of saying "Hey, here's something interesting." At least, that's the theory behind it.
Wade Randolph, who is a funny guy, sums up the problem pretty well in paragraph five of "Sunday Morning Bliss" right here. The language is a bit crude, but he's got a good point. A lot of bulletins are just clutter. If you're my friend and you send me something like "How (name of your state)-y Are You?" I can't get rid of it. I don't Want to have it, because I don't really care to know "How Many Old TV Themes Do [I] Know?" and I don't really care to pass along another chain letter that is sure to get me a call from my secret crush. And yet you send them to me and there's nothing I can do about it. And now I'm stuck with it because bulletins give you two awesome options: reply or delete friend.
That's right, you can't just delete the bulletin, you have to cut your friend loose, like a lagging climber on a glacier summit. I don't dislike my friends, I just dislike being notified everytime you got bored and changed your wallpaper. We're friends, I've been to your page in the last week, I SEE that you've changed your wallpaper. I didn't know you liked the PowerPuff Girls that much dude. I mean, it's nice and all, the heart waterfall is a bit much, but I don't want to cast you into the darkness over it. Not with all the weeping and gnashing. I guess I could resort to constantly deleting and re-adding friends, but that's too much work and I think they'd get just as sick of it as I would. Then suddenly you're not friends any more because they keep putting up "Child of the 80's??" lists and nobody's happy.
So please, for both of our sakes, think about what you're sending before you send it, okay? If you're not sure, just wing it to me over e-mail, bulletins are just fancy chain letters 90% of the time anyway. Those I Can delete. And I probably will because, while I love you, I don't care that you've never been to Hawaii but you have smoked clove cigarettes.
Sorry.
As many of you know, I have a friend named Tani. Tani is the reason I started this blog as well as the reason why I got a MySpace page. Tani seems to spend a lot of her down time coming up with ideas for me. Which is fine, because it frees up my thinking time for drinking or playing video games. When Tani comes up with an idea for me I've learned that it's best to just go along with it. Otherwise it's just like fighting quicksand, you're only going to get tired resisting.
So now I have a MySpace page and it's pretty nice. You can listen to music, find old friends, trick girls into flying to the Middle East to be your child bride, all sorts of things. One of the other things you can do is post bulletins. Bulletins go to all of your friends and are a nice way of saying "Hey, here's something interesting." At least, that's the theory behind it.
Wade Randolph, who is a funny guy, sums up the problem pretty well in paragraph five of "Sunday Morning Bliss" right here. The language is a bit crude, but he's got a good point. A lot of bulletins are just clutter. If you're my friend and you send me something like "How (name of your state)-y Are You?" I can't get rid of it. I don't Want to have it, because I don't really care to know "How Many Old TV Themes Do [I] Know?" and I don't really care to pass along another chain letter that is sure to get me a call from my secret crush. And yet you send them to me and there's nothing I can do about it. And now I'm stuck with it because bulletins give you two awesome options: reply or delete friend.
That's right, you can't just delete the bulletin, you have to cut your friend loose, like a lagging climber on a glacier summit. I don't dislike my friends, I just dislike being notified everytime you got bored and changed your wallpaper. We're friends, I've been to your page in the last week, I SEE that you've changed your wallpaper. I didn't know you liked the PowerPuff Girls that much dude. I mean, it's nice and all, the heart waterfall is a bit much, but I don't want to cast you into the darkness over it. Not with all the weeping and gnashing. I guess I could resort to constantly deleting and re-adding friends, but that's too much work and I think they'd get just as sick of it as I would. Then suddenly you're not friends any more because they keep putting up "Child of the 80's??" lists and nobody's happy.
So please, for both of our sakes, think about what you're sending before you send it, okay? If you're not sure, just wing it to me over e-mail, bulletins are just fancy chain letters 90% of the time anyway. Those I Can delete. And I probably will because, while I love you, I don't care that you've never been to Hawaii but you have smoked clove cigarettes.
Sorry.
Labels: Worzala's Wednesday Word
posted by Matt Worzala at
2:00 PM
1 Comments:
Oh man, again, good stuff. Hit the nail on the head. Though, now I want to be your friend on MySpace, just so I can send out ridiculous bulletins.
By
Jen, at 3:41 PM
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