GETTING IT OFF MY CHEST
In case you've been living in a cave at the bottom of the ocean on the moon the last week and a half, I'd like to thank you for sticking your head out of your space cave long enough to read my blog. Since you've been out of the loop let me be the first to break the news to you. Last weekend during the World Cup Finals France's Zinedine Zidane headbutted Italy's Marco Materazzi in the chest, leading to Zidane's red card expulsion from the game.
It was, in a word, Awesome.
Here watch it again. Grab, running, running, running, turn around and BOOM goes the dynamite! Right in the chest.
There are some people that think Zidane's actions are a disgrace to the sport of soccer. Some people out there are complete idiots. That's a disgrace?? Only if "disgrace" is a fancy European word for "totally sweet". Have these people ever heard of soccer before? Soccer fans regularly toss FLARES onto the field during games! Soccer is the sport most likely to get you shot for a) screwing up and b) cheering. Materazzi's just lucky he didn't wind up under the cleats of England's Rooney or Brazil's Cafu, just a few of the men who have been penalized in recent years for stepping on downed opponents groins during the game. C'mon, a headbutt to the chest is the end of the universe as we know it, but stomping a man in the nuts with your cleats is just good clean fun? Who created this game, eunichs? Apparently offsides isn't the only thing about soccer I have a hard time understanding.
Until recently I was proudly ignorant when it came to soccer. This time last year I could have probably named three male soccer players. One was Pele', one was David Beckham and the third was "you know, that guy with the Z names". Zinedine Zidane is a big deal in the world of soccer. I mean a Big Deal. He's won the Intercontinental Cup, The World Cup, he's been the FIFA World Player of the Year and he's won championships in basically every league he's ever played in. He also set a world record for highest salary when he was signed by a team for 73 MILLION Euros ($93.2 Million). In soccer it doesn't get much bigger than Zidane and, as you may have heard, soccer's more than a little popular right now. Zidane had already stated he planned on retiring after the Cup, and he certainly went out with a bang. This was like Wayne Gretzky sucker punching a goalie in his last hockey game. It was like Micheal Jordan chopblocking the center before putting up his final fade-away. It's like Barry Bonds hitting his 756th homerun and then going into the stands and eating a small child. Wait, scratch that, I think that's what he's already got planned. Sure you laugh now, but if he starts coming to the plate wearing a lobster bib, you better make your way to the parking lot post-haste.
France may have lost to Italy, but Zidane still walked away with the MVP award and after collapsing Materazzi like a cheap card table, he's become the most talked about name in all of soccer. No matter how you slice it, in the end Zidane comes out ahead.
Get it? "A head"? Ahhhh, I kill me.
It was, in a word, Awesome.
Here watch it again. Grab, running, running, running, turn around and BOOM goes the dynamite! Right in the chest.
There are some people that think Zidane's actions are a disgrace to the sport of soccer. Some people out there are complete idiots. That's a disgrace?? Only if "disgrace" is a fancy European word for "totally sweet". Have these people ever heard of soccer before? Soccer fans regularly toss FLARES onto the field during games! Soccer is the sport most likely to get you shot for a) screwing up and b) cheering. Materazzi's just lucky he didn't wind up under the cleats of England's Rooney or Brazil's Cafu, just a few of the men who have been penalized in recent years for stepping on downed opponents groins during the game. C'mon, a headbutt to the chest is the end of the universe as we know it, but stomping a man in the nuts with your cleats is just good clean fun? Who created this game, eunichs? Apparently offsides isn't the only thing about soccer I have a hard time understanding.
Until recently I was proudly ignorant when it came to soccer. This time last year I could have probably named three male soccer players. One was Pele', one was David Beckham and the third was "you know, that guy with the Z names". Zinedine Zidane is a big deal in the world of soccer. I mean a Big Deal. He's won the Intercontinental Cup, The World Cup, he's been the FIFA World Player of the Year and he's won championships in basically every league he's ever played in. He also set a world record for highest salary when he was signed by a team for 73 MILLION Euros ($93.2 Million). In soccer it doesn't get much bigger than Zidane and, as you may have heard, soccer's more than a little popular right now. Zidane had already stated he planned on retiring after the Cup, and he certainly went out with a bang. This was like Wayne Gretzky sucker punching a goalie in his last hockey game. It was like Micheal Jordan chopblocking the center before putting up his final fade-away. It's like Barry Bonds hitting his 756th homerun and then going into the stands and eating a small child. Wait, scratch that, I think that's what he's already got planned. Sure you laugh now, but if he starts coming to the plate wearing a lobster bib, you better make your way to the parking lot post-haste.
France may have lost to Italy, but Zidane still walked away with the MVP award and after collapsing Materazzi like a cheap card table, he's become the most talked about name in all of soccer. No matter how you slice it, in the end Zidane comes out ahead.
Get it? "A head"? Ahhhh, I kill me.
posted by Matt Worzala at
1:19 PM
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