MAKE LIKE THE POPE

"I took my daughter camping this weekend. You have no idea how hard it is to get a three year old to pee in the woods."

Just have her pee her pants.

"Pee her pants? Yeah, like I'm going to have her do that."

She's three years old. What does she care? What are you doing taking a three year old camping? Bears can eat three year olds.

"There are no bears in my parents' back yard."

That's what everyone says, till a bear shows up in your back yard to eat your child.

"If any bears showed up-"

Wait, you were camping in your parents' back yard?! Why are you making your daughter pee in the woods?!?

"I'm trying to teach her that you don't have to be girly all the time."

There's a BATHROOM twenty feet away in the house!

"It doesn't hurt to learn to wipe with a fig leaf."

Your parents have figs??

This Public Service Announcement Brought to you by The Coalition of Three Year Olds Against Peeing in The Woods.