SURVIVOR

(Like the Spanish Oilers, we're SPOILERS)

Last Week on... SURVIVOR

Team Ozzie:
Ozzie (natch)
Alexis
Amanda
Chet(gone)
Cirie
Erik
Joel(gone)
Tracy

Team Who:
Natalie
Ami
Eliza
James
Jason
Jonathon(gone)
Kathy
Parvati

Now, in case you were looking at that list and going, wait, when did Jonathon go, you have to remember last week Jonathon was sent home because of an infection spreading through his body. So even though Team Who won last week's Immunity Challenge, the numbers are still pretty close.

The big deal in the opening for Team Ozzie is the Chickens. Tracy is trying to get under Ozzie's skin by suggesting that they should start killing the chickens and eat the meat. If they kill one a week that would last them through the rest of the season. Ozzie, as a sane person, thinks this is a bad idea. "Why would you kill a renewable resource?" asks Ozzie, and really, I can't think of any reason. Can you?

Meanwhile at Team Who? camp the women are starting to work James' nerves again. They complain about having to live in a cave, they complain about the funk they've acquired and they complain about the rain. James, also a sane person, states the obvious that the Fans are no worse off than they were before the tribe swap, and at least now they live in a cave where they aren't getting rained on. Smart man that James, even if he did sit on TWO immunity idols last season. Two of them. In the final five.

Speaking of having Idols, Erik's got himself one in the form of Ozzie. If this were an Anime every time Erik looked at Ozzie his eyes would turn to stars. Or rainbows. Or robots. I can never follow those cartoons. As Cirie puts it, "If Ozzie were to get down on one knee right now, I think he and Erik would get married." Cirie, on the other hand, would not be accepting Ozzie's proposal after he drags her, Amanda and Erik out into the middle of the ocean to go hunting for fish. Cirie, not a strong swimmer, has the heebie jeebies about being so far away from shore (and I can't say I blame her) but her concerns are poo-poo'ed by the King of Atlantis. Cirie, keep in mind, does not like being poo-poo'ed. More on that later.

Hey, I wonder if Team Who's earlier feeling of uncleanliness will play a part in the-

REWARD CHALLENGE!
Four blindfolded players will push a giant Samoan money wheel through a course being guided by the other two players. Along the way the wheel will crush four blocks holding smaller money wheels. Those smaller money wheels have to then be placed on a puzzle board to win. Both teams move rather well for being blindfolded, you don't see any shots of people taking headers or walking full bore into a tree or anything, but Eliza isn't urging on her team with the vigor Cirie is using. Even if Cirie has to be constantly reminded that her left and the team's left were two different things. In the end Team Ozzie finally breaks their 3 challenge losing streak and wins a Herbal Essence Spa Treatment for the entire team. ... well, not the ENTIRE team. Someone's gotta go to Exile. Ozzie asks Tracy if she'd mind taking one for the team, but he asks her in the same way your parents "ask" you to take out the garbage. Jason is sent out as well, but at least he can't find ANOTHER fake idol, can he? No, no, nooooo Jason, put that down, that's a pine cone. Every random piece of plant life you find can not be the idol.

The rest of Team Ozzie enjoys a nice little scrub-down, but that's nothing compared to the waterworks going on back at Team Who? camp. Kathy is breaking down. She's been trying to send vibes out to her daughter and she doesn't feel like they're reaching her. ... I'd like to take a moment and mention that I'm not making that up. Probst gets word that Kathy is falling apart and he shows up to hear her side of the story. Not to change her mind, just to make sure she's certain she wants to leave. She says yes and Probst calls the boat. And like that, Team Who? who has YET to lose an Immunity Challenge, is down another player. Thanks Kathy, way to represent the #3 seeded Badger State.

Back at Team Ozzie, Cirie gets in Amanda's ear about Ozzie and Erik's manship and how Ozzie is only out for Ozzie. Amanda, who apparently forgot how the game works, seems surprised that Ozzie might only be looking out for Ozzie and not also for his Shark Wrasslin' Woman.

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE!
Back to even numbers thanks to Kathy, no one has to sit out for this challenge. One player will run out with a line, hook that line to a block of puzzle pieces, and then be dragged in by the rest of their team back to the beach. Once all five blocks are back, two players assemble the puzzle which forms "a perfect square". Of course this event involves the water, because Ozzie needs to have some sort of advantage.

And boy, does he take off like a fish. Ozzie has the first pack back before Eliza is even out to her's and tears back to retrieve the second pack before Eliza is even up on the beach. Ozzie then hands off to his future common-law husband for the third run but when Erik doesn't get back enough for Ozzie's liking, hubbie takes the rope for the last two package runs. ... that was an unintentional dirty metaphor, I swear it.

So Amanda and Cirie are already assembling the puzzle for Team Ozzie while Eliza is slip sliding her way to get the fifth bundle. Amanda and Cirie are still assembling the puzzle while Jason and Eliza struggle to get the puzzle pieces out of their bundles. Amanda and Cirie are stil asssembling the puzzle while Jason and Eliza try to figure out where everything goes. Come to think of it, Amanda and Cirie have been working on that puzzle for a long time. Too long it turns out, because you know what Eliza eats for breakfast?

Puzzles.

And for the second time this season Eliza helps her team come from FAR behind on a puzzle solving challenge to avoid elimination. Of course, you can almost hear Probst thinking "that's fine, but one of you's going to die or something before tribal council anyway. ... man, I look good in this shirt."

Back at Camp Ozzie, Tracy's head is on the chopping block as the next Fan to go. But Tracy, Jedi Master that she is, has a plan to save herself. She, Ami and Erik will vote for Ozzie. She and Ami will meanwhile convince Amanda and Cirie that Erik should go instead of Tracy, and that Tracy and Ami will be voting for him. Ozzie, unwilling to vote out his Boy Wonder, will vote for Tracy. That will be one vote for Tracy, two votes for Erik and three surprise votes for Ozzie. It's a brilliant plan actually, but perhaps too brilliant. For it to work Amanda and Cirie have to agree to go against Ozzie.

It's interesting to watch the discussion that takes place because at one point Tracy goes "so, what are you girls going to do?" and there's a long pause before Amanda laughs really nervously and goes "Why are you asking me?" Amanda is apparently STILL trying to play the "I'm just here for the ride" game that blew up so badly in her face last season. All that's left is the water works in the final three again. But that's a long, long ways off and right now we've got-

TRIBAL COUNCIL!
Probst, being Probst, starts right off by asking if there's a leader at camp. Tracy says Ozzie is the leader, Ozzie says that's news to him. Cirie says that while Ozzie isn't the leader, "95% of anything that anyone does, they check with Ozzie first." Which is saying that Ozzie is the leader without actually saying it. Erik then crushes some more on Ozzie by declaring that if Ozzie weren't there they'd be falling apart even quicker than they are now. Which is NOT the sort of thing you want to hear one of your key votes say about the guy you're trying to eliminate.

So we go to the vote and sure enough even a Jedi master can only make weak-minded fools do her bidding for so long. Tracy is the ONLY person not to vote for Tracy, and she is sent home to shoot womp rats in her T-16.


Mmmm, struck down Erik, you should have. Mmmm.

ELIMINATED
Fairplay (Favorites)
Mary (Fans)
Yau-man (Favorites)
Mikey B (Fans)
Joel (Fans)
Jonathon (Favorites)
Chet (Fans)
Kathy (Fans)
Tracy (Fans)

Probst sends everyone off into the night reminding them that only Team Who's rotten luck is even keeping the game close at this point and they better get things into gear, and soon.

NEXT WEEK!
What's-her-face makes a Final Four Alliance! And Erik leans he can't fly the hard way!