SURVIVOR

This week on... SURVIVOR
(Spoilers. In case you wondered)

Fans:
Alexis
Chet
Erik
Jason
Joel
Kathleen
Mary gone
Mikey B
Natalie
Tracy

Favorites:
Amanda(China)
Ami(Vanuatu)
Cirie(Panama)
Eliza(Vanuatu)
James(China)
Jonathan(Cook Island)
Johnny Fairplay(Pearl Island) gone
Ozzie(Cook Island)
Parvati(Cook Island)
Yau-Man(Fiji)

We open with Mikey B and Joel debating the merits of Joel getting Mary kicked off last week. In the end they agree to disagree and hug it out. Nah, I'm kidding, they both talk about picking the other off as soon as possible.

Over at the Favorite's beach the Couples of Amanda/Ozzie and Parvati/James invite Eliza down to the beach for a swinging sex party. Kidding again, it's a boring old campfire, but instead of singing "Michael, Row The Boat Ashore" they pump Eliza for information about her alliance with Yau-man, Jonathon, Ami and Cirie. Cirie is really in the driver's seat as the swing vote both groups need, and she's loving every minute of it.

Back at Fan beach the Fans are psyched, PSYCHED I TELLS YA, to find out the next reward challenge will be a physical confrontation with the Favorites. "Just like we've been waiting for," says Alexis. ...Waiting for? You've been on the island 6 days. Each team is given a catalogue of goods to improve life around camp, the winning team gets their three items, the losers get, well, some sand to pound. Oh, they also get war paint to decorate themselves and whooo nanny, did they do a great job. At the-

REWARD CHALLENGE!
It looks like


vs


Each team has three bags. You have to get your three bags and two of the other team's bags across this lagoon and into your end zone all at the same time. Full contact is allowed. On cue, it starts to rain, making things even more slippery. Honestly, I think it is on cue. I think there's a guy with a hose standing just off camera spraying water into the air to make these things more difficult.

The next five minutes are just a battle as everyone is wailing on everyone. The surprise tough guys are Jonathon who is stealing bags and throwing hits, and Erik who not only cranks Amanda in the head with a bag, he then backflips her into the lagoon. In the end the Favorites are just too tough and they crawl away the winners, taking their shelter, lantern and survival gear with them. Kathy is again sent to Exile Island, this time with Ami.

Back at camp the Favorites reflect on how awesome they are while Cirie frets about what she's going to do and how she's not being courted enough by either team. She ever suggests they could be carrying her around in a chariot. ... I think someone has a concussion. And suddenly Amanda, Parvati and Cirie are out in the water scheming to be the final three. Which, really, IS genius, cause none of those three stand any chance against anyone else, except maybe Eliza who is apparently disliked across the board.

Nothing happens at Exile Island because the idol search is cut short by one mother of a rain storm. The Fans all huddle in their crummy little shelter getting soaked while the Favorites lay warm and dry in their cave, wrapped in the tarp they just won that afternoon. I think they all laugh themselves to sleep before Yau-man wakes in the morning to make them omelets and crepes. I'm kidding again, everyone makes their own omelets.

The Fans wake the next morning looking like accident survivors. Maybe, if they were smart, they'd take the time to build a new shelter before the next monsoon. Instead they all sit around in shell shock worrying about-

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE!
Four players will suspend a cargo net in the air. The other players will take turns trying to throw coconuts into the opposing team's net. First team that can't hold up the net any more loses. Neither team gets off to a good start, putting up more bricks than Bob the Builder. Then Jason aka Hoosier and Alexis, the second coming of Rebecca Lobo, start draining 'nuts for the Fans. It isn't until Yau-man (natch) drains one that the Favorites start coming back. Jonathon spends the entire time talking trash including to Kathy "Show us how it's done in Wisconsin" and to Chet "He's at the pageant... he lines it up... ooooops!" In the end though Jonathon's words can't rattle the Fan's aim and the Favorite's lose another Immunity Challenge.

And that's when the SCRAMBLING starts.

Cirie wants to get rid of Yau-man. Ozzie wants to get rid of Eliza. Jonathon wants to get rid of Parvati. James wants to know why everyone's acting like "dumbasses". No one likes that Cirie is suddenly in control of everything, but no one has the idea of just chopping her out. There, problem solved. Instead we have to watch everyone begging Cirie to vote with them. This is a woman who was afraid of LEAVES last time she was on. Jonathon tries to talk her into going with them, but she won't hear it. So then Jonathon hopes to use the split on the Yau-man/Eliza vote to submarine Parvati with only four votes. Let's see if it works at-

TRIBAL COUNCIL!
Probst talks to Jonathon. Probst talks to Cirie. Jonathon talks to Cirie. Cirie talks to Jonathon. Everyone is uncomfortable. They go off to vote, Jonathon drops 3 metaphors in 10 seconds when explaining his vote for Parvati. The votes come back..

Parvati, Yau, Yau, Parvati, Cirie... wait, what? Yau... And with that Yau-man is voted off the island. Because, as Ozzie pointed out, you should get rid of the person that's really helpful around camp and really good at challenges. *sigh*



ELIMINATED
Fairplay(Favorites)
Mary(Fans)
Yau-man(Favorites)

NEXT TIME
Cirie vs Jonathon! Joel vs Mickey B! And a mysterious rock!