I AM FAIRLY INTERESTED IN REPORT CARDS
Well hello Iraq, how was your day today? What's that you're hiding behind your back? Is that your report card? That's right, I had almost completely forgotten. This week is your first report back to Congress since they agreed to keep pouring additional funding into the peace keeping efforts in your country. Well, let's take a look at it.
I said give it here. Young country, I am the United States of America and unless you are Dick Cheney, (that might take a bit to load) you must produce information when it is asked of you. Now hand over that report.
Now if I remember you had 18 categories you were being judged in.
Let's review quickly before I open this...
1) Forming a Constitutional Review Committee and then completing the constitutional review.
2) Enacting and implementing legislation on de-Baathification.
3) Enacting and implementing legislation to ensure the equitable distribution of hydrocarbon resources of the people of Iraq without regard to the sect or ethnicity of recipients, and enacting and implementing legislation to ensure that the energy resources of Iraq benefit Sunni Arabs, Shia Arabs, Kurds, and other Iraqi citizens in an equitable manner.
4) Enacting and implementing legislation on procedures to form semi-autonomous regions.
5) Enacting and implementing legislation establishing an Independent High Electoral Commission, provincial elections law, provincial council authorities, and a date for provincial elections.
6) Enacting and implementing legislation addressing amnesty.
7) Enacting and implementing legislation establishing a strong militia disarmament program to ensure that such security forces are accountable only to the central government and loyal to the Constitution of Iraq.
8) Establishing supporting political, media, economic, and services committees in support of the Baghdad Security Plan.
9) Providing three trained and ready Iraqi brigades to support Baghdad operations.
10) Providing Iraqi commanders with all authorities to execute this plan and to make tactical and operational decisions, in consultation with U.S commanders, without political intervention, to include the authority to pursue all extremists, including Sunni insurgents and Shiite militias.
11) Ensuring that the Iraqi Security Forces are providing evenhanded enforcement of the law.
12) Ensuring that, according to President Bush, Prime Minister Maliki said `the Baghdad security plan will not provide a safe haven for any outlaws, regardless of (their) sectarian or political affiliation'.
13) Reducing the level of sectarian violence in Iraq and eliminating militia control of local security.
14) Establishing all of the planned joint security stations in neighborhoods across Baghdad.
15) Increasing the number of Iraqi security forces units capable of operating independently.
16) Ensuring that the rights of minority political parties in the Iraqi legislature are protected.
17) Allocating and spending $10 billion in Iraqi revenues for reconstruction projects, including delivery of essential services, on an equitable basis.
18) Ensuring that Iraq's political authorities are not undermining or making false accusations against members of the Iraqi Security Forces.
What's that? Yes, I know we used the word "ensure" and "enact" a lot. You're just stalling Iraq.
*opens report card*
Hmmmm....
Hmmmm....
Has England seen this yet? Don't say 'what', you heard what I said. Did you show this to England yet? Well you should young government, because England is going to want to see this. 'Not that bad'? You have EIGHT U's! You didn't even complete half of your requirements! You know what, go to your room... yes, until dinner!
*ahem* Sorry about that. Iraqi is a good country but I just don't think it's applying itself as hard as it could. It might be my own fault, not setting firm enough rules with it. Maybe we weren't prepared enough- don't get me wrong, when England and I decided we wanted to liberate a country we were serious about it, I guess we just didn't realize how much responsibility it would be. And we had a much bigger support group back then. Spain kept saying "We'll watch Iraq on the weekends if you want to get out and see a movie" and Japan was always offering to bring food over. Sure, you can't forget about Poland, but... *sigh* some days...
Just look at this report card. Out of 18 requirements only 8 have been done "satisfactorily". That's not even great. Just satisfactory. Then we have two "mixed" reviews, what ever that means. And the rest are unsatisfactory.
It'd be one thing if he was failing to pick a national bird or struggling to streamline their election process, but these are important benchmarks. Look at this comment, "'the security situation in Iraq remains complex and extremely challenging,' the 'economic picture is uneven' and political reconciliation is lagging." Lagging!
*sigh* I can just hear England now, "I wanted to get a dog, but you said a country would be easier."
I said give it here. Young country, I am the United States of America and unless you are Dick Cheney, (that might take a bit to load) you must produce information when it is asked of you. Now hand over that report.
Now if I remember you had 18 categories you were being judged in.
Let's review quickly before I open this...
1) Forming a Constitutional Review Committee and then completing the constitutional review.
2) Enacting and implementing legislation on de-Baathification.
3) Enacting and implementing legislation to ensure the equitable distribution of hydrocarbon resources of the people of Iraq without regard to the sect or ethnicity of recipients, and enacting and implementing legislation to ensure that the energy resources of Iraq benefit Sunni Arabs, Shia Arabs, Kurds, and other Iraqi citizens in an equitable manner.
4) Enacting and implementing legislation on procedures to form semi-autonomous regions.
5) Enacting and implementing legislation establishing an Independent High Electoral Commission, provincial elections law, provincial council authorities, and a date for provincial elections.
6) Enacting and implementing legislation addressing amnesty.
7) Enacting and implementing legislation establishing a strong militia disarmament program to ensure that such security forces are accountable only to the central government and loyal to the Constitution of Iraq.
8) Establishing supporting political, media, economic, and services committees in support of the Baghdad Security Plan.
9) Providing three trained and ready Iraqi brigades to support Baghdad operations.
10) Providing Iraqi commanders with all authorities to execute this plan and to make tactical and operational decisions, in consultation with U.S commanders, without political intervention, to include the authority to pursue all extremists, including Sunni insurgents and Shiite militias.
11) Ensuring that the Iraqi Security Forces are providing evenhanded enforcement of the law.
12) Ensuring that, according to President Bush, Prime Minister Maliki said `the Baghdad security plan will not provide a safe haven for any outlaws, regardless of (their) sectarian or political affiliation'.
13) Reducing the level of sectarian violence in Iraq and eliminating militia control of local security.
14) Establishing all of the planned joint security stations in neighborhoods across Baghdad.
15) Increasing the number of Iraqi security forces units capable of operating independently.
16) Ensuring that the rights of minority political parties in the Iraqi legislature are protected.
17) Allocating and spending $10 billion in Iraqi revenues for reconstruction projects, including delivery of essential services, on an equitable basis.
18) Ensuring that Iraq's political authorities are not undermining or making false accusations against members of the Iraqi Security Forces.
What's that? Yes, I know we used the word "ensure" and "enact" a lot. You're just stalling Iraq.
*opens report card*
Hmmmm....
Hmmmm....
Has England seen this yet? Don't say 'what', you heard what I said. Did you show this to England yet? Well you should young government, because England is going to want to see this. 'Not that bad'? You have EIGHT U's! You didn't even complete half of your requirements! You know what, go to your room... yes, until dinner!
*ahem* Sorry about that. Iraqi is a good country but I just don't think it's applying itself as hard as it could. It might be my own fault, not setting firm enough rules with it. Maybe we weren't prepared enough- don't get me wrong, when England and I decided we wanted to liberate a country we were serious about it, I guess we just didn't realize how much responsibility it would be. And we had a much bigger support group back then. Spain kept saying "We'll watch Iraq on the weekends if you want to get out and see a movie" and Japan was always offering to bring food over. Sure, you can't forget about Poland, but... *sigh* some days...
Just look at this report card. Out of 18 requirements only 8 have been done "satisfactorily". That's not even great. Just satisfactory. Then we have two "mixed" reviews, what ever that means. And the rest are unsatisfactory.
It'd be one thing if he was failing to pick a national bird or struggling to streamline their election process, but these are important benchmarks. Look at this comment, "'the security situation in Iraq remains complex and extremely challenging,' the 'economic picture is uneven' and political reconciliation is lagging." Lagging!
*sigh* I can just hear England now, "I wanted to get a dog, but you said a country would be easier."
posted by Matt Worzala at
8:54 AM
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