I GOTTA CRUSH ON YOU
David Zinczenko wrote on Yahoo today "What His Celeb Crush Says About Him". As Zinczenko says
Now... I'll admit I may not be as "mature" as Mr. Zinczenko. He is the editorial director of "the fastest growing men's magazine for affluent, 40-plus men" where as I am still a few candles short of 30. However, I have to call shenanigans on this, unless by "total package" he means "both T and A".
Mr. Zinczenko lists 8 women/types and explains what it means if a guy fantasizes about that sort of woman. Angelina, for example, might be because a man is "attracted to a do-gooder woman who also isn't afraid to show a bit of a wild streak." Oh-ho no, no, no Mr. Zinczenko. Maybe I'm just speaking for myself, but Angelina's work in Africa has no bearing on my fantasies regarding her.
So, for men who are not Mr. Zinczenko, I present His women and My reasoning.
If he fantasizes about...Angelina Jolie
(He wants to have a sex with a crazy woman, but not so crazy that she'll actually kill him afterwards. This is also the closest he can come in real life to having sex with Lara Croft. If he's into that. ...and he is.)
...Jennifer Aniston
(He was 12 or older when Friends first aired. He's really into dinosaurs and hair gel. He's hoping to get with you and a) your OCD friend or b) your hippie friend or c) both.)
...The young, troubled beauties (Paris, Lindsay, Britney)
(He likes burn outs and washouts who are crazy enough to do ANYTHING. Option 2: He's white trash and he likes 'em dumb.)
...Halle Berry, Scarlett Johansson
(He likes big boobs. Also, he LIKES BIG BOOBS!)
...Julianne Moore, Michelle Pfeiffer
(He'd like to do your mom.)
...Pam Anderson
(He's a skeevy looking rock star who hasn't yet gotten Hepatitis C. Wishes to remedy this fact.)
...Beyonce, J. Lo, Fergie, Janet
(He likes big butts, he likes big butts, he likes big humps and he hasn't gone outside since September 1993.)
...Any character from Grey's Anatomy
(He is gay. Unless it's Izzy, then he might be bi.)
Early on, the overriding factor may have been the prevalence of skin (Bo, Farrah, Pamela, and SI swimsuit models being excellent examples). But as men grow up, it's more than just physical attraction to the kind of woman he features in his cerebral movie theater - it's the total package that includes not only her looks, but what her looks, lifestyle, and personality may also represent.
Now... I'll admit I may not be as "mature" as Mr. Zinczenko. He is the editorial director of "the fastest growing men's magazine for affluent, 40-plus men" where as I am still a few candles short of 30. However, I have to call shenanigans on this, unless by "total package" he means "both T and A".
Mr. Zinczenko lists 8 women/types and explains what it means if a guy fantasizes about that sort of woman. Angelina, for example, might be because a man is "attracted to a do-gooder woman who also isn't afraid to show a bit of a wild streak." Oh-ho no, no, no Mr. Zinczenko. Maybe I'm just speaking for myself, but Angelina's work in Africa has no bearing on my fantasies regarding her.
So, for men who are not Mr. Zinczenko, I present His women and My reasoning.
If he fantasizes about...Angelina Jolie
(He wants to have a sex with a crazy woman, but not so crazy that she'll actually kill him afterwards. This is also the closest he can come in real life to having sex with Lara Croft. If he's into that. ...and he is.)
...Jennifer Aniston
(He was 12 or older when Friends first aired. He's really into dinosaurs and hair gel. He's hoping to get with you and a) your OCD friend or b) your hippie friend or c) both.)
...The young, troubled beauties (Paris, Lindsay, Britney)
(He likes burn outs and washouts who are crazy enough to do ANYTHING. Option 2: He's white trash and he likes 'em dumb.)
...Halle Berry, Scarlett Johansson
(He likes big boobs. Also, he LIKES BIG BOOBS!)
...Julianne Moore, Michelle Pfeiffer
(He'd like to do your mom.)
...Pam Anderson
(He's a skeevy looking rock star who hasn't yet gotten Hepatitis C. Wishes to remedy this fact.)
...Beyonce, J. Lo, Fergie, Janet
(He likes big butts, he likes big butts, he likes big humps and he hasn't gone outside since September 1993.)
...Any character from Grey's Anatomy
(He is gay. Unless it's Izzy, then he might be bi.)
posted by Matt Worzala at
2:06 PM
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