WORZALA'S WEDNESDAY WORD 2-21-07

Today's Wednesday Word is "80's" as in "When in doubt, re-make an 80's movie".

Indiana Jones 4 is coming. Die Hard 4 will be in theaters soon. Rocky 6 has already happened. Rumor has it that Beverly Hills Cop, Rambo and Mad Max all have additional instalments in the works as well.

In response to this the L.A. Times did some brainstorming and came up with a number of 80's films and franchises that should be revised. I'd tell you what they are, but I've got better things to do than register with the Times just to read their precious internet article. Now if they had an ad banner, say in blue, at the top of their page, I'd happily click that. Because that's just the sort of person I am.

I don't really need to know what movies they think should be revived, because I've got my own ideas. Here are the Top 5.

1)Back To The Future
Why: Great theme music, an awesome mode of transportation, and the ability to set the movie in any time period would allow for both a comedy/adventure as well as the opportunity for some sly social critiquing. Doc's sons, Jules and Vern, are perfect protagonists, as they are only kids at the end of the third movie. Aging them would allow for a reasonable explanation why Marty is no longer the main character. Bonus point- they could finally pronounce Gigawatt correctly. I didn't know Doc Brown was wrong until my senior year of High School.

2)Porky's
Why: Before American Pie, there was Porky's. The simple tale of teen boys trying to have sex with girls is something that rings as true today as it did in the 80's. It was also the third highest grossing movie of 1982. So it's got that going for it, which is nice. A couple of CW heartthrobs+a handful of actresses willing to take off their shirts=license to print money. That no one has gone back to Porky's bar since 1985 is just a darn shame. (note: Apparently Howard Stern is possibly involved on a new Porky's. If the King of All Media thinks it's a good idea, who are we to disagree?)

3)Police Academy
Why: Hear that sound? That ca-ching, ca-ching, ca-ching sound? That's the sound of the money Reno: 911 is making off of television, DVD sales and upcoming movie tickets. Time for the original idiots of law enforcement to come back "In Full Force" (which would be a great Police Academy movie title). I could shoot this movie in a weekend during the summer when the MadTV cast is free. And honestly, I bet you could get Guttenberg to star in it for food money.

4)Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
Why: They travel through time in a phone booth. They play heavy metal music. They beat The Grim Reaper in a game of Twister and then defeated their robot doubles. They gave us the simple truth of "Be Excellent To Each Other". We know what their future holds, but not how they get there. It's time for another road block to be thrown their way. Get Keanu Reeves and Alex "Not Keanu" Winter back in the parking lot of The Circle K and have Rufus set them out on another "[descriptive word] [synonym for travel]".

5)The Land Before Time
They've already made ELEVEN of them. May as well make it an even Dozen.