WORZALA'S WEDNESDAY WORD 1-17-07
Today's Wednesday Word is "blues" as in "Someone is a really big 'Folsom County Blues' fan."
Two teens from Nelsonville, Ohio were re-arrested after leaving their juvenile detention center and stealing a vehicle. What vehicle you might ask? No, not a car. No, not a school bus. Not a helicopter, not a boat. These two stole... a train.
Think about that for a moment. You have just left your juvenile detention center. I emphasise the word left, because this was the Hocking Valley Community Residential Center, where "youth stay on the honor system" instead of going to a state run juvie hall. So you already know you're going to be in trouble when you get caught. So what do you do? You steal the vehicle least likely to evade the police. A hot air balloon has more maneuverability than a train. A rookie police officer, blind from birth and recently hit in the head with a snow shovel could track these two. These aren't exactly The Defiant Ones. They're not even Laurel and Hardy.
The Buster Keaton enthusiasts, one of whom had "some knowledge of trains", took the train on a 12 mile joy ride before stopping off at a grocery store where they were finally apprehended. So, so, so many questions arise from this.
1) The boy who had the "knowledge of trains" was 16. Where did he learn this fantastic train knowledge? Was he a Hobo before being "locked up" at Hocking Valley Community Residential Center? Was he a train thief, hot wiring trains on the mean streets of Nelsonville? Did he just watch a lot of Thomas the Tank Engine?
2) What was so tempting at the grocery store that the two just had to stop? A sale on spaghetti sauce? Gatorade to replenish the fluids you lose hijacking a train engine? Or did one of them just really need to use the little train robbers room and figured no one would notice if they parked the Reading Railroad for a few minutes?
3) How the heck do they make it 12 miles before anyone notices that a train, that normally runs only on the weekends, is racing along the tracks past both the Hocking College police AND the city police office?
"Hey Chief."
"Hey Bill."
WHOOOOOOO-WHOOOOOOOO!!
"What was that, Bill?"
"Looks like the Scenic Railway engine."
"Isn't that only supposed to run on the weekends?"
"Whatevs."
"I don't think people actually say 'whatevs' out loud, Bill."
"Whatevs."
"...seriously Bill. I'll shoot you in the face if you do it again."
"Wha-"
"BLAM!!"
WHOOOOOOOO-WHOOOOOO!!
The Casey Jones boys were charged with juvenile counts of burglary, theft and escape, and I'm sure they've learned their lesson. If they choose to break out again, I doubt they'll ride around in anything so silly and cumbersome.
Next time it'll be gondolas.
Two teens from Nelsonville, Ohio were re-arrested after leaving their juvenile detention center and stealing a vehicle. What vehicle you might ask? No, not a car. No, not a school bus. Not a helicopter, not a boat. These two stole... a train.
Think about that for a moment. You have just left your juvenile detention center. I emphasise the word left, because this was the Hocking Valley Community Residential Center, where "youth stay on the honor system" instead of going to a state run juvie hall. So you already know you're going to be in trouble when you get caught. So what do you do? You steal the vehicle least likely to evade the police. A hot air balloon has more maneuverability than a train. A rookie police officer, blind from birth and recently hit in the head with a snow shovel could track these two. These aren't exactly The Defiant Ones. They're not even Laurel and Hardy.
The Buster Keaton enthusiasts, one of whom had "some knowledge of trains", took the train on a 12 mile joy ride before stopping off at a grocery store where they were finally apprehended. So, so, so many questions arise from this.
1) The boy who had the "knowledge of trains" was 16. Where did he learn this fantastic train knowledge? Was he a Hobo before being "locked up" at Hocking Valley Community Residential Center? Was he a train thief, hot wiring trains on the mean streets of Nelsonville? Did he just watch a lot of Thomas the Tank Engine?
2) What was so tempting at the grocery store that the two just had to stop? A sale on spaghetti sauce? Gatorade to replenish the fluids you lose hijacking a train engine? Or did one of them just really need to use the little train robbers room and figured no one would notice if they parked the Reading Railroad for a few minutes?
3) How the heck do they make it 12 miles before anyone notices that a train, that normally runs only on the weekends, is racing along the tracks past both the Hocking College police AND the city police office?
"Hey Chief."
"Hey Bill."
WHOOOOOOO-WHOOOOOOOO!!
"What was that, Bill?"
"Looks like the Scenic Railway engine."
"Isn't that only supposed to run on the weekends?"
"Whatevs."
"I don't think people actually say 'whatevs' out loud, Bill."
"Whatevs."
"...seriously Bill. I'll shoot you in the face if you do it again."
"Wha-"
"BLAM!!"
WHOOOOOOOO-WHOOOOOO!!
The Casey Jones boys were charged with juvenile counts of burglary, theft and escape, and I'm sure they've learned their lesson. If they choose to break out again, I doubt they'll ride around in anything so silly and cumbersome.
Next time it'll be gondolas.
Labels: Worzala's Wednesday Word
posted by Matt Worzala at
12:54 PM
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