WORZALA'S WEDNESDAY WORD 1-10-07
Today's Wednesday Word is "Phone" as in, "I am going to dig Alexander Graham Bell up out of his grave, then hire a voodoo priest to bring him back to live, and then murder him back to death. With a phone."
I answer phones where I work for a living. Well, as we all know, I write for a living, I'm a professional writer. I just, you know, answer phones to cover the other 95% of my living expenses.
We're having a phone "problem" at work this week. I call it a problem because I don't know how to spell catrastophy(<--- see?) and because I try not to use the f-word on this page. Why? Because I'm thinking about the children. I ran for City Council with that as my campaign slogan last year. S. Worz "I'm Always Thinking About Your Children. Always." Somehow I lost in a landslide. So the phones have been on the blink. What will happen is that our first line will ring but when I pick up there's no one there. When I hang up the line will immediately ring back with a disconnected tone. I hang the line up only to have it, again, immediately ring back. And again. And again. After the fourth tone the line will usually ring, but this time, instead of a tone, I get the start of the "If you'd like to make a call" message. No, I would not like to make a call, that's not what I'm paid to do. I'm paid to answer the phones. I'm like a baseball pitcher. They pay pitchers to pitch, not to hit (at least that's what watching the Milwaukee Brewers for the last two decades has taught me). But if I hang up THAT call then it just calls back as if oblivious to my rejection. "- please hang up and dial the number again..." I didn't dial a number in the first place!
The phone has been doing this for three straight days now, usually once every twenty minutes or so. So that's 500 plus wasted calls we've had to sit through. And you can't get rid of them. We've tried putting the line on hold, but it just hangs up on itself and starts calling you right back. Our engineer disengaged the line, but then line two started acting up. So he disconnected line two, only to have our special inside line go nuts. It's like our phone is channeling Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. I would not be surprised if I came to work tomorrow to find out that the phone had killed our rabbit. If we had a rabbit. ...Okay, so it'd be a little surprising, but not a lot surprising.
We can't get a new phone system either, because we're moving soon, and it wouldn't be smart to install a whole new system you're going to use for less than a year. Until then, I guess I'll just have to put up with the ghost dialer.
This must be karma for all of the prank calling I did in college.
In my defense though, I was at least funny. "Is your fridge running?" Ha-ha-ha-ha, feel free to use that one. I won't even charge you for it.
I answer phones where I work for a living. Well, as we all know, I write for a living, I'm a professional writer. I just, you know, answer phones to cover the other 95% of my living expenses.
We're having a phone "problem" at work this week. I call it a problem because I don't know how to spell catrastophy(<--- see?) and because I try not to use the f-word on this page. Why? Because I'm thinking about the children. I ran for City Council with that as my campaign slogan last year. S. Worz "I'm Always Thinking About Your Children. Always." Somehow I lost in a landslide. So the phones have been on the blink. What will happen is that our first line will ring but when I pick up there's no one there. When I hang up the line will immediately ring back with a disconnected tone. I hang the line up only to have it, again, immediately ring back. And again. And again. After the fourth tone the line will usually ring, but this time, instead of a tone, I get the start of the "If you'd like to make a call" message. No, I would not like to make a call, that's not what I'm paid to do. I'm paid to answer the phones. I'm like a baseball pitcher. They pay pitchers to pitch, not to hit (at least that's what watching the Milwaukee Brewers for the last two decades has taught me). But if I hang up THAT call then it just calls back as if oblivious to my rejection. "- please hang up and dial the number again..." I didn't dial a number in the first place!
The phone has been doing this for three straight days now, usually once every twenty minutes or so. So that's 500 plus wasted calls we've had to sit through. And you can't get rid of them. We've tried putting the line on hold, but it just hangs up on itself and starts calling you right back. Our engineer disengaged the line, but then line two started acting up. So he disconnected line two, only to have our special inside line go nuts. It's like our phone is channeling Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. I would not be surprised if I came to work tomorrow to find out that the phone had killed our rabbit. If we had a rabbit. ...Okay, so it'd be a little surprising, but not a lot surprising.
We can't get a new phone system either, because we're moving soon, and it wouldn't be smart to install a whole new system you're going to use for less than a year. Until then, I guess I'll just have to put up with the ghost dialer.
This must be karma for all of the prank calling I did in college.
In my defense though, I was at least funny. "Is your fridge running?" Ha-ha-ha-ha, feel free to use that one. I won't even charge you for it.
Labels: Worzala's Wednesday Word
posted by Matt Worzala at
4:35 PM
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