AN OPEN LETTER
To Whom It May Concern-
I would just like to issue an apology to whomever was driving behind me last night on that stretch of Highway 10. Maybe I didn't make it clear, but yes, I did notice you behind me.
I know you were in a hurry to get to where ever you were headed. I don't know if it was the scenic hamlet of Custard or the bustling metropolis of Winchester, but I know you were in a hurry. I can only assume it is my fault for buying a car with a trunk, a situation you were doing your best to rectify every couple of minutes during the drive. Believe me, if I could have gotten my car up to the 80+ mph you seemed to want to travel at, I would have, "Warning: Curve 35mph" sign be damned. However, the one flaw in your masterful plan was that I too was behind a car. A Buick from the mid 80's from the look of it. I do not know if this person realized the rush you were in, but try as I might I was unable to will them to move faster so that you might be less inconvenienced. Maybe they were related to a law enforcement official, perhaps they were novice drivers, but they were simply unwilling to go any faster than 65 in that 45 zone. The balls on them to do that to you. Even if it was a woman.
I know you drive a Ford Excursion and the horses under that hood need to be allowed to run free. I know and I understand. But I'm not with the county, and I'm not the one who decided there should be road construction barriers between the lanes for the next 20 miles. So if you could, and it's understandable if you can't, maybe not flash me with your brights next time as a not-so-subtle hint that I should speed up.
But it wasn't all bad times for the two of us, was it? Remember the time when you thought we'd come across a passing lane and you tried to come around my right side? Who knew that was just a short slot for turning at the corner? We both had a good laugh at how you had to suddenly swerve back behind me, didn't we? And let's not forget our final moments as construction finally cleared and you were able to finally, rightfully, pass me. I'll never forget the look you gave my car as your mighty metal steed took off with a roar down the highway. Truly, it felt as if I had been blessed just to be part of your journey down both life's metaphorical and literal highways.
Your faithful servant,
S. Worz
p.s. I'm sorry to sound so ignorant, but when we passed you ten minutes later, just how big was the ticket the police officer was writing you? Curiosity gnaws at my very fiber.
I would just like to issue an apology to whomever was driving behind me last night on that stretch of Highway 10. Maybe I didn't make it clear, but yes, I did notice you behind me.
I know you were in a hurry to get to where ever you were headed. I don't know if it was the scenic hamlet of Custard or the bustling metropolis of Winchester, but I know you were in a hurry. I can only assume it is my fault for buying a car with a trunk, a situation you were doing your best to rectify every couple of minutes during the drive. Believe me, if I could have gotten my car up to the 80+ mph you seemed to want to travel at, I would have, "Warning: Curve 35mph" sign be damned. However, the one flaw in your masterful plan was that I too was behind a car. A Buick from the mid 80's from the look of it. I do not know if this person realized the rush you were in, but try as I might I was unable to will them to move faster so that you might be less inconvenienced. Maybe they were related to a law enforcement official, perhaps they were novice drivers, but they were simply unwilling to go any faster than 65 in that 45 zone. The balls on them to do that to you. Even if it was a woman.
I know you drive a Ford Excursion and the horses under that hood need to be allowed to run free. I know and I understand. But I'm not with the county, and I'm not the one who decided there should be road construction barriers between the lanes for the next 20 miles. So if you could, and it's understandable if you can't, maybe not flash me with your brights next time as a not-so-subtle hint that I should speed up.
But it wasn't all bad times for the two of us, was it? Remember the time when you thought we'd come across a passing lane and you tried to come around my right side? Who knew that was just a short slot for turning at the corner? We both had a good laugh at how you had to suddenly swerve back behind me, didn't we? And let's not forget our final moments as construction finally cleared and you were able to finally, rightfully, pass me. I'll never forget the look you gave my car as your mighty metal steed took off with a roar down the highway. Truly, it felt as if I had been blessed just to be part of your journey down both life's metaphorical and literal highways.
Your faithful servant,
S. Worz
p.s. I'm sorry to sound so ignorant, but when we passed you ten minutes later, just how big was the ticket the police officer was writing you? Curiosity gnaws at my very fiber.
posted by Matt Worzala at
2:45 PM
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