THE BEST FOUR YEARS OF YOUR LIFE
Ahhhh... Wisconsin weather. This weekend it was in the low 80's, today and tomorrow we're supposed to be lucky if we crack 60. And this is September, mind you, wait till we hit December.
Also in Wisconsin news last week was a failed plot by two Green Bay teenagers to stage a "Columbine-like attack" at East High School. Police, acting on a tip, raided the home of one of the teens where they found gas masks, automatic weapons, explosives, shotguns, handguns and more. There was also apparently a letter of intent found, indicating that the two boys were intending to make their attack some time in the near future and that they were hoping to die by "suicide by cop." If this had happened, it would be a tragedy for sure.
However, it didn't happen, so there is some humor to be found in the situation.
The first thing funny about this is that apparently the two young men have been planning this for three years. They're 17 now. That means they were FRESHMAN when they first hatched this plan. Of Course you were picked on when you were a freshman, everyone is picked on when they're a freshman. That's no reason to bring a sawed-off to school three years down the road. Also, maybe you wouldn't have felt so out of place in school if instead of wasting three years planning your murder spree you had spent it, oh, I don't know, getting involved in school and making friends. You mean to tell me in three years you couldn't make four friends between the two of you to go hang out at Perkins with on a Friday night? Go complain on your MySpace page and your Livejournal. Sit in your room listening to Linkin Park and System of A Down. Get interested in model planes and pornography. Don't try to kill a bunch of people because you lack social skills. It's that simple.
Even funnier than the two main players in this drama is a recently introduced secondary character. Another young man, an 18 year old graduate from East, has just been arrested for finding out about the planned attack and wanting to be part of it so he could get his revenge on those who picked on him. ...excuse me? You're a graduated student, who's left at the school for you to get revenge on? Were you being harassed by juniors and sophomores? Wow. I mean, we all agree that bullying is bad. If you get your kicks by picking on people smaller than you just because you can, you need to speak to a counselor or a psychiatrist, because you are messed up. Okay? Can we make that clear?
At the same time, if you're a senior and sophomores are making your life a living hell, you know what? Maybe you really are a loser.
And consider this, if you have nothing better to do with your time post-graduation than planning on hanging out with Juniors to eventually be shot by the cops, maybe you should pick up an extra shift or two at your job at McDonald's. Or start hanging out at Perkins as well. That chicken tender melt is delectable!
Also in Wisconsin news last week was a failed plot by two Green Bay teenagers to stage a "Columbine-like attack" at East High School. Police, acting on a tip, raided the home of one of the teens where they found gas masks, automatic weapons, explosives, shotguns, handguns and more. There was also apparently a letter of intent found, indicating that the two boys were intending to make their attack some time in the near future and that they were hoping to die by "suicide by cop." If this had happened, it would be a tragedy for sure.
However, it didn't happen, so there is some humor to be found in the situation.
The first thing funny about this is that apparently the two young men have been planning this for three years. They're 17 now. That means they were FRESHMAN when they first hatched this plan. Of Course you were picked on when you were a freshman, everyone is picked on when they're a freshman. That's no reason to bring a sawed-off to school three years down the road. Also, maybe you wouldn't have felt so out of place in school if instead of wasting three years planning your murder spree you had spent it, oh, I don't know, getting involved in school and making friends. You mean to tell me in three years you couldn't make four friends between the two of you to go hang out at Perkins with on a Friday night? Go complain on your MySpace page and your Livejournal. Sit in your room listening to Linkin Park and System of A Down. Get interested in model planes and pornography. Don't try to kill a bunch of people because you lack social skills. It's that simple.
Even funnier than the two main players in this drama is a recently introduced secondary character. Another young man, an 18 year old graduate from East, has just been arrested for finding out about the planned attack and wanting to be part of it so he could get his revenge on those who picked on him. ...excuse me? You're a graduated student, who's left at the school for you to get revenge on? Were you being harassed by juniors and sophomores? Wow. I mean, we all agree that bullying is bad. If you get your kicks by picking on people smaller than you just because you can, you need to speak to a counselor or a psychiatrist, because you are messed up. Okay? Can we make that clear?
At the same time, if you're a senior and sophomores are making your life a living hell, you know what? Maybe you really are a loser.
And consider this, if you have nothing better to do with your time post-graduation than planning on hanging out with Juniors to eventually be shot by the cops, maybe you should pick up an extra shift or two at your job at McDonald's. Or start hanging out at Perkins as well. That chicken tender melt is delectable!
posted by Matt Worzala at
1:57 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home