LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP

I found this on my voicemail this morning. I didn't even know Pluto knew my phone number.

"Matt? Matt? Pick up! Pick up, it's me.... Hello??? *hic* It's Pluto. They did it, the fanal-finally did it. They downgraded me- ffffffffft out the window. Downsized out of the ****ing solar shstm. Why? What'd up with that *hic* Huh? What'd I ever do, but do my best at being... ... ... me? Hello? Pick up! I knew it was coming. I ****ing knew it. I KNEW IT! Neptune sopped saying "hi" when I'd would pass it. Hey! Neptune? What's up? Nothing. Nada. ***** can be last in line now, she can - Who's gonna want me now? Alpha Centauri? Bea-ah-telguese? They neeeeed me! I'm the anchor! My very educated mother just served us nine pizzas! I'm the peeshas! Pizzas! *hic* Pizzas. I said pizzas, that's what I meant. I'm DRUNK! ... ... ... Hello? So what? You'd get drunk too if they took you out and said "Hey Pluto, you're a dwarf planet". Your mom is a dwarf planet- I'm Pluto! I've been here for 70 years! Does someone poke your grandpa in the chest and say Hey! ... ... No. You gotta take the ball and put it on the floor to- Jupiter- **** Jupiter! It's a ball of gas! I'm rock! I am a rock, I am an iiiiiiiiiiisland. Jupiter should be down graded to dwarf gas and given a Rolaids. That's how I spell relief. Re-LIEF!! HELLO??? PICK UP!... ... ... ... Okay, call me if you get this. Or call Uranus. UrrrrrrrrrrANUS. That's a worthless rock. They only keep it for the joke. Uranus, darn near killed her. HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA. It's a good joke. But **** that rock. ... ... .... okay. ... ... ... call me... ... ... Hello?"