WORZALA'S WEDNESDAY WORD 8-9-06
Sorry for the delay, this week's Wednesday Word was trying to fly in from Heathrow with a thermos full of Tang. Apparently that's frowned upon.
This week's word is "cannon" as in "Listening to Justin Timberlake or Fergie's new 'songs' makes me want to shoot myself in the face. With a cannon."
Justin, Justin, Justin, what are you doing? You're a good looking guy. A very good looking guy. The singles off of your last album were, for the most part, very catchy and very good. Who didn't like "Cry Me A River"? Answer: Terrorists. So it's not like you can't sing, but this "Bringing The Sexy Back" crap? It's, as the Italians say "garbagio". Why is he singing through a comb wrapped in wax paper for the entire song? And the lyrics? Here's a genius idea Justin, write a verse, then sing the chorus, then write a second different verse, chorus again, and, if you're feeling really daring, write a third verse as well. I know it's a radical school of thought, but I think you can handle it. Because seriously, your first verse was bad enough the first time, I don't need it repeated two minutes later.
"London Bridge". Where to start? Tell you what, I will change my opinion (that this song is an affront to humanity) if you can tell me WHAT THE CHORUS MEANS!!! "How come every time you come around my London, London Bridge wanna go down?" How come every time your song comes on I want to drive my car, car off a bridge?
I don't know who's dumber, the people that heard these songs and said "Yes, people will pay money to own this music" or the people that heard these songs and said "Yes, I will pay money to own this music." I'm all for mandatory sterilization for both groups.
This week's word is "cannon" as in "Listening to Justin Timberlake or Fergie's new 'songs' makes me want to shoot myself in the face. With a cannon."
Justin, Justin, Justin, what are you doing? You're a good looking guy. A very good looking guy. The singles off of your last album were, for the most part, very catchy and very good. Who didn't like "Cry Me A River"? Answer: Terrorists. So it's not like you can't sing, but this "Bringing The Sexy Back" crap? It's, as the Italians say "garbagio". Why is he singing through a comb wrapped in wax paper for the entire song? And the lyrics? Here's a genius idea Justin, write a verse, then sing the chorus, then write a second different verse, chorus again, and, if you're feeling really daring, write a third verse as well. I know it's a radical school of thought, but I think you can handle it. Because seriously, your first verse was bad enough the first time, I don't need it repeated two minutes later.
"London Bridge". Where to start? Tell you what, I will change my opinion (that this song is an affront to humanity) if you can tell me WHAT THE CHORUS MEANS!!! "How come every time you come around my London, London Bridge wanna go down?" How come every time your song comes on I want to drive my car, car off a bridge?
I don't know who's dumber, the people that heard these songs and said "Yes, people will pay money to own this music" or the people that heard these songs and said "Yes, I will pay money to own this music." I'm all for mandatory sterilization for both groups.
Labels: Worzala's Wednesday Word
posted by Matt Worzala at
1:06 PM
2 Comments:
Oh no - you didn't just rip on JT, did you? I happen to LOVE that song and video, and now, you're on my list. As in, my shit list.
By
Jen, at 5:29 PM
I'd like to tell you about another person who had some unpopular opinions. It was the American Colonies. That seemed to work out pretty well for everyone. You're here.
C'mon Jen, JT is BETTER than this song.
By
Matt Worzala, at 2:11 PM
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