STAND BACK, I'M NEGOTIATING HERE
Seriously? Do you cops have nothing better to do than swing by my house?
Do I know what time it is? I sure do. It's, oh, okay, it's a little later than I thought, but it's not like it's 4 in the morning or, better yet, NOON. I mean, c'mon, you only turn 21 once. If the birthday boy wants to smash a glass bottle outside just to see how it feels, I think he should be able to do that without the police getting "all up in his business" as the kids say. No, there aren't any kids here. What? People yell "OH S*** THE COPS!", throw their drink to the ground and run into the house all the time. That doesn't make them suspicious. Where are we, England? Innocent until PROVEN guilty. That's all I'm saying. Didn't think I knew that did you. Two words for you, Law. And. ... order. Okay, so three words, it's not like this is a spelling bee. Or a word off, or whatever it would be. This isn't an interrogation either, because my lawyer isn't present. And she won't be done with law school for another 8 months. So just keep that in mind.
Yes, I am well aware that the average age on my block is 54, but I don't think they should be allowed to sic the fuzz on us just because they're jealous of our capricious youth. Where are his pants? What are you, a detective? He knows where his pants are. And if all our neighbors are trying to quote unquote sleep, what are they doing staring out the window at two pantless guys chasing a girl around in the front yard? I think the average age on my block is pervert. I'll go on the record if you want about that.
Move the cars? Make up your mind 5-0, are you cops or parking attendants. How am I supposed to fit 20 cars in my driveway? Riddle me that one. And who else needs to park on the road at this time of night? It's not snowing, so we're not blocking the plow. Not your concern? Then why are you telling me about it? If you don't care and I don't care- you do care? You just said it wasn't your concern. Oh WHERE they go, that's not your concern. Well how great for you. Isn't it your job to protect and Serve? Well a great way to serve is to do. So if you could figure out where all these cars can go, that's be a great Serv-ice to me.
What? Come with you to your squad car? Sure thing. Make it snappy though, we're about to cut the cake.
Easy with the bracelets there Ponch, not that I'm not flattered, but I'm into chicks.
Do I know what time it is? I sure do. It's, oh, okay, it's a little later than I thought, but it's not like it's 4 in the morning or, better yet, NOON. I mean, c'mon, you only turn 21 once. If the birthday boy wants to smash a glass bottle outside just to see how it feels, I think he should be able to do that without the police getting "all up in his business" as the kids say. No, there aren't any kids here. What? People yell "OH S*** THE COPS!", throw their drink to the ground and run into the house all the time. That doesn't make them suspicious. Where are we, England? Innocent until PROVEN guilty. That's all I'm saying. Didn't think I knew that did you. Two words for you, Law. And. ... order. Okay, so three words, it's not like this is a spelling bee. Or a word off, or whatever it would be. This isn't an interrogation either, because my lawyer isn't present. And she won't be done with law school for another 8 months. So just keep that in mind.
Yes, I am well aware that the average age on my block is 54, but I don't think they should be allowed to sic the fuzz on us just because they're jealous of our capricious youth. Where are his pants? What are you, a detective? He knows where his pants are. And if all our neighbors are trying to quote unquote sleep, what are they doing staring out the window at two pantless guys chasing a girl around in the front yard? I think the average age on my block is pervert. I'll go on the record if you want about that.
Move the cars? Make up your mind 5-0, are you cops or parking attendants. How am I supposed to fit 20 cars in my driveway? Riddle me that one. And who else needs to park on the road at this time of night? It's not snowing, so we're not blocking the plow. Not your concern? Then why are you telling me about it? If you don't care and I don't care- you do care? You just said it wasn't your concern. Oh WHERE they go, that's not your concern. Well how great for you. Isn't it your job to protect and Serve? Well a great way to serve is to do. So if you could figure out where all these cars can go, that's be a great Serv-ice to me.
What? Come with you to your squad car? Sure thing. Make it snappy though, we're about to cut the cake.
Easy with the bracelets there Ponch, not that I'm not flattered, but I'm into chicks.
posted by Matt Worzala at
9:07 PM
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