WEDNESDAY WORD 4-19-06
Today's word is "McDonald's." As in "You should have gone to McDonald's if you wanted your food fast" which is what our waiter said to us at lunch today. We already were not about to tip the guy, but that comment left no doubt in anyone's mind.
We arrived for lunch at 11:45. There were maybe three other tables seated at this point. There are about 5 waiters, odds are in our favor, right? Wrong. Our waiter was Jesse Meth-Head. The tip off should have been "METH" spelled out on his knuckles, not a lot of Nobel Winners in the Field of Physics with knuck tats, but we figured, how hard is it to screw up lunch?
12:05 he finally comes to take our order. Apparently he wanted to make REAL sure we knew what we wanted. The restaurant is slowly starting to fill up around us. Ben makes the mistake of ordering "all you can eat ribs".
12:25 we're still sitting there, eating the fourth bowl of comped chips and salsa and people around us are getting their meals brought out to them. People that showed up the same time we did are getting their to-go boxes. Jesse Meth-Head has some how even forgotten in his meth haze that Jim ordered water, cause he starts bringing him out Cokes as well. Which is fine by Matt R. because Jesse brought him a Diet Coke instead of a Coke like he ordered.
12:40 a second, more serious discussion about just walking out is brought up. Unfortunately our food is finally being brought out. We ordered two pork sandwiches, a burrito, two salads and ribs but in the black hole that is the kitchen it took 35 minutes to cook and 55 minutes all around to get. The manager, the love child of George Costanza and Rick Moranis, comes over to ask how the food was. "Fine, now that it's here."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, if there's anything I can do about the wait." Yeah Dr. Brown, why don't you and Marty get the Delorian and go back to an hour ago with my food. Can you do that for me chief? "How about a discount?" asks Jim. He cuts us 15% or $7 off the bill. Whoah, slow down there, we don't want the company going under.
12:55 we're finally getting ready to leave. Ben's "all you can eat ribs" worked out to be one plate. We've been waiting 10 minutes now for the second plate. I mention the need for a new plate as Meth-Head brings me a Coke (which I ordered) instead of the Diet Coke that I most certainly did not order. His response to the second plate request? "They're cooking them now. You should have gone to McDonald's if you wanted your food fast."
1:10 half way back to work we realize we, in fact, DO have matches on us. Debate turning around to follow through on verbal threat to burn restaurant to the ground. Decided to just call it a day.
We arrived for lunch at 11:45. There were maybe three other tables seated at this point. There are about 5 waiters, odds are in our favor, right? Wrong. Our waiter was Jesse Meth-Head. The tip off should have been "METH" spelled out on his knuckles, not a lot of Nobel Winners in the Field of Physics with knuck tats, but we figured, how hard is it to screw up lunch?
12:05 he finally comes to take our order. Apparently he wanted to make REAL sure we knew what we wanted. The restaurant is slowly starting to fill up around us. Ben makes the mistake of ordering "all you can eat ribs".
12:25 we're still sitting there, eating the fourth bowl of comped chips and salsa and people around us are getting their meals brought out to them. People that showed up the same time we did are getting their to-go boxes. Jesse Meth-Head has some how even forgotten in his meth haze that Jim ordered water, cause he starts bringing him out Cokes as well. Which is fine by Matt R. because Jesse brought him a Diet Coke instead of a Coke like he ordered.
12:40 a second, more serious discussion about just walking out is brought up. Unfortunately our food is finally being brought out. We ordered two pork sandwiches, a burrito, two salads and ribs but in the black hole that is the kitchen it took 35 minutes to cook and 55 minutes all around to get. The manager, the love child of George Costanza and Rick Moranis, comes over to ask how the food was. "Fine, now that it's here."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, if there's anything I can do about the wait." Yeah Dr. Brown, why don't you and Marty get the Delorian and go back to an hour ago with my food. Can you do that for me chief? "How about a discount?" asks Jim. He cuts us 15% or $7 off the bill. Whoah, slow down there, we don't want the company going under.
12:55 we're finally getting ready to leave. Ben's "all you can eat ribs" worked out to be one plate. We've been waiting 10 minutes now for the second plate. I mention the need for a new plate as Meth-Head brings me a Coke (which I ordered) instead of the Diet Coke that I most certainly did not order. His response to the second plate request? "They're cooking them now. You should have gone to McDonald's if you wanted your food fast."
1:10 half way back to work we realize we, in fact, DO have matches on us. Debate turning around to follow through on verbal threat to burn restaurant to the ground. Decided to just call it a day.
Labels: Worzala's Wednesday Word
posted by Matt Worzala at
1:39 PM
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