HAMM FROM THE LAND OF SKY BLUE WATERS
Olympic gold medalist and Wisconsin boy Paul Hamm has had to drop out of the 2008 Summer Olympics (slogan: WHY did we give them to China again? The country can't make a Happy Meal toy without it killing someone) due to injuries to his wrist.
I've got to ask the question on everyone's minds. Or at least on the minds of everyone I talk to. What kind of jerk is Morgan Hamm? Oh, I should have mentioned I spend most of my day talking to myself. That should have come earlier in the paragraph according to my lawyer.
Morgan Hamm is a jerk. What kind of jerk? A huge one. Paul and Morgan are identical twins, okay? So even though Paul Hamm's wrist isn't healthy enough to allow him to compete in the Olympic games is no reason that "Paul Hamm" has to drop out of the Olympics. C'mon Morgan! We're US Americans and we're trying to show up the rest of the world! The first All-Around male Gymnastics champion EVER from the U.S. shouldn't have to miss competing in the Olympics just because he Can't Compete in the Olympics. The second Morgan heard that Paul wasn't going was thinking of dropping out he should have stepped up and done the patriotic thing, lied and taken his brother's place.
And if Paul wasn't willing to go along with it? Well that's why God gave us ether and rags.
Can YOU tell the difference? Heck no!
Now, the only reason I can think of for Morgan Hamm not only betraying his own brother but also betraying his own country, is because he's afraid he won't be able to win. Morgan, Morgan, Morgan. It's so simple. Paul has a well documented wrist injury, if "Paul" came up short all you'd have to do is blame it on "your" wrist. Miss the landing on the rings? Grab your wrist. Tuck out of the parallel bars too late? Grab your wrist. Start grabbing your wrist at the opening ceremonies to establish a storyline and you'll be on Wheaties boxes by September! Well, you won't. Paul will. But seriously, show that stuff to a girl and she's going to be All Over You.
Who can say no to this face?
I sure can't.
I've got to ask the question on everyone's minds. Or at least on the minds of everyone I talk to. What kind of jerk is Morgan Hamm? Oh, I should have mentioned I spend most of my day talking to myself. That should have come earlier in the paragraph according to my lawyer.
Morgan Hamm is a jerk. What kind of jerk? A huge one. Paul and Morgan are identical twins, okay? So even though Paul Hamm's wrist isn't healthy enough to allow him to compete in the Olympic games is no reason that "Paul Hamm" has to drop out of the Olympics. C'mon Morgan! We're US Americans and we're trying to show up the rest of the world! The first All-Around male Gymnastics champion EVER from the U.S. shouldn't have to miss competing in the Olympics just because he Can't Compete in the Olympics. The second Morgan heard that Paul wasn't going was thinking of dropping out he should have stepped up and done the patriotic thing, lied and taken his brother's place.
And if Paul wasn't willing to go along with it? Well that's why God gave us ether and rags.
Can YOU tell the difference? Heck no!
Now, the only reason I can think of for Morgan Hamm not only betraying his own brother but also betraying his own country, is because he's afraid he won't be able to win. Morgan, Morgan, Morgan. It's so simple. Paul has a well documented wrist injury, if "Paul" came up short all you'd have to do is blame it on "your" wrist. Miss the landing on the rings? Grab your wrist. Tuck out of the parallel bars too late? Grab your wrist. Start grabbing your wrist at the opening ceremonies to establish a storyline and you'll be on Wheaties boxes by September! Well, you won't. Paul will. But seriously, show that stuff to a girl and she's going to be All Over You.
Who can say no to this face?
I sure can't.
posted by Matt Worzala at
4:49 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home