NOW THE CHORUS WON'T RHYME
Santas in Australia are now being told it is up to their individual discretion whether or not they want to replace the traditional "ho-ho-ho" with "ha-ha-ha" so they don't frighten children or insult women. That's right, "ho-ho-ho" may insult women, as "ho" is a slang word for a woman of ill repute.
Other changes Santas are being offered to pursue:
1) Eliminate the red suit, as it may annoy passing bulls
2) Stop referring to self as a "jolly old elf", it it may offend orcs, goblins and Ents.
3) Trade in flying reindeer for a nice Prius to get better gas mileage.
4) End the tradition of bringing toys for just "good little boys and girls" as the phrase may offend and confuse obese children, as well as eunuchs.
5) No more making of lists, as it is wasteful of paper and also inefficient in this day of computers and spreadsheet programs
6) Stop trying to score with single mothers in the mall. That's just creepy.
Other changes Santas are being offered to pursue:
1) Eliminate the red suit, as it may annoy passing bulls
2) Stop referring to self as a "jolly old elf", it it may offend orcs, goblins and Ents.
3) Trade in flying reindeer for a nice Prius to get better gas mileage.
4) End the tradition of bringing toys for just "good little boys and girls" as the phrase may offend and confuse obese children, as well as eunuchs.
5) No more making of lists, as it is wasteful of paper and also inefficient in this day of computers and spreadsheet programs
6) Stop trying to score with single mothers in the mall. That's just creepy.
posted by Matt Worzala at
8:25 AM
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