THROW MICHAEL VICK A BONE

Michael Vick, quarterback of the Atlanta Falcons, has recently been accused of sponsoring, gambling on, and raising dogs for the purpose of dog fighting. People are up in arms about this, saying he should be kicked out of the NFL, that he should be thrown in jail, all sorts of crazy things. Personally, I don't see what the big deal is.

A man wants to hold dog fights, that's his right to do. People fight stuff all the time. Man versus Bear. Man versus Kangaroo. Man versus much better trained Woman Kickboxer. So a man wants to fight a dog? Let him! Especially if it's in his own back-

I'm sorry what?

That's not what dog fighting is?

Well, what is it then, if you're smart?

What?

To the WHAT??

Hold up, they train them by WHAT?!?

Now I'm confused. What would they need the taser for?

WHAT???

Oh. Oh, that's *ahem* a lot different than I thought.

Huh. I wonder if there's a way to rescind a letter to the editor.