I HOPE THIS DOESN'T HINDER OUR RELATIONSHIP

Honey why you calling me, so late?
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What? No I'm not being rude, I was just wondering why you were calling at 1 in the morning.
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Well some of us do have to work tomorrow. I almost broke my dang foot getting to the phone too. It's kinda hard to talk right now.
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Honey why you crying? Is everything okay?
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Nothing? Nothing's wrong?
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No, I'm not being accusatory. I'm just saying most people don't call ex-boyfriends at... 1:25 in the morning, crying, for no reason.
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I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud.
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Well my girl's in the next room.
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Already? We moved in together after three weeks.
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Different, how was that different?
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Sometimes I wish it was you.
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Well you said it first.
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-No I am not leading you on. You called me, sobbed in my ear and said you wished your boyfriend was me. So I was just- I guess we never really moved on.
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I've got a funny way of showing it?? Hello Pot? Yeah, it's the Kettle calling, he says you're black.
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No I didn't just call you black. It's a- never mind. It's really good to hear your voice saying my name. It sounds so sweet. Coming from the lips of an angel.
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Nah, kinda this gravelly thing. She smokes, so, you know. What can you do?
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Hearing those words it makes me weak and I never want to say good-hold on I have another call.
*beep*
Hello?
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No, that's a bad idea.
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Well wait until you're sober and then go get the tattoo then.
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Look, just call me back later.
*beep*
Hello?
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Well sure, I mean, if you were free and I was free, and you were wearing that little outfit I bought you. Girl you make it hard to be faith...ful... huh.
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It just dawned on me why we didn't work out.
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Yes I'm talking about our rampant infidelity.
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I'd sure call it "rampant". I'm living with a girl, you're living with another guy and yet here we are talking on the phone, in secret, at odd hours of the morning, talking about hooking up on the sly? What a pair of scumbags we are.
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I can't believe you're going to start crying again. You always do this. Look, I gotta go, I gotta get up for the first shift at McDonalds in a couple of hours, and then I'm going to go buy some flowers for my girl and confess the whole thing. Don't ever call this number again.
*click*