GUN RUNNER PT. 3

WHEN THE POLICE HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO TURN...
THEY TURN TO THE LOOSEST OF LOOSE CANNONS...
THE CRACKEST OF CRACK SHOTS...
THEY TURN TO...
GUN RUNNER

"AND ANOTHER THING!" shouted the Chief. He was hot and not in a good "Jessica Alba in cotton shorts and a baby tee" sort of way. The Chief was hot in a bad "5-alarm chili and you've got acid reflux and IBS" sort of way.

"What the hell were you thinking taking a semi-truck full of crack on a high speed chase through downtown?"

"Well the guy wasn't too eager to have a slow speed chase. Next, I'll just tell him he's free to go," replied Gunther Ruettiger, cooler than the waterside of the pillow. A pillow made of justice and steely blue eyes.

"That's not what I mean and you know it Ruettiger! You think just because you're a cop with a badge you can go around like some sort of vigilante? With a badge?"

"So a cop then?" replied Ruettiger, leaning back in his chair.

"That's not funny. You buried that semi in the side of a school for the gifted. You took out their entire gymnasium! You're lucky it's summer. Just think if it had been winter!"

"Maybe instead of yelling at me, you should be yelling at that old lady that stepped out in front of the rig. That's jay walking you know."

"AND ANOTHER THING!" Outside the police station dogs and small children were running in the other direction of the Chief's voice, not knowing quite why.

"Do you mind telling me what on earth possessed you to shoot an old lady? We've got her laid up at Holy Christ right next to the drug dealer we fished out of the harbor."

"She was fleeing the scene," said Ruettiger, rising to his feet. "I couldn't chase her down and leave a semi-truck of crack just sitting half way out of a school. So I shot her in the leg to slow her down. It did the trick."

"Fleeing the scene? She was running for her life!"

"From the Scene of the Crime. Look Chief, we're two sides of the same yo-yo here and I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of Walk the Dog. I want to put the Baby in the Cradle and by Baby I mean Dante Rasputin and by Cradle I mean jail."

Sighing the Chief looked at his watch, he had 4 more hours till he could take another blood pressure pill, and he'd already taken 3 as soon as Ruettiger stepped into the office, so it'd probably be even longer then. Loosening his tie the Chief sat down at his desk.

"The Mayor wants your badge, your gun on my desk and your butt in an orange jumpsuit. I can buy you till tomorrow morning, after that, my hands are tied."

"What you do in the privacy of your own home is up to you Chief. 10 hours. Looks like it's time for Big Trouble in Little Russia." Grabbing his jacket, the head wolf of a one-man pack exited the office, slamming the door behind him.

"And try not to blow anything up this time!" yelled the Chief.

"Sorry Chief, I can't hear you through this door."