WORZALA'S WEDNESDAY WORD 5-30-07
Today's word is "rub" as in "What the rub-a-dub-dub, someone's stolen our tub!"
Japan, the country that brought you schoolgirl underwear vending machines and "ladies only" subway cars, has recently had a $987,000 18-karat gold tub stolen from a resort hotel.
The tub, which weighs 176 pounds, was in a chained off room on the tenth floor of the hotel. Now, I don't know what my tub costs, but I'm willing to guess it is not almost a million dollars. None the less, my tub is sealed into the wall. And again, my tub does not cost a million dollars. It probably doesn't even cost $500,000, unless you include the shower curtains. ... and the rest of the house. ... and the neighbor's house. If my tub was made of solid gold, however, you can bet I would have it nailed to the ground, and you'd need a key card and a retinal scan to even enter the bathroom. The hotel didn't have the tub riveted down nor did it even have security cameras in place. I don't know if a sign saying "Hey, just steal this already" was still coming back from the printers or not.
At the same time, I'd like to know how the thieves got the tub off the 10th floor. Did they try to squeeze it in the elevator? It's 176 pounds, did they have to use the stairs? I would have hated to be on the short end of that deal.
Thief 1: Step. Step. Step.
Thief 2: Not so fast! I'm getting crushed here!
Thief 3: Might I remind you we are STEALING this tub?
Thief 1: Step. Step. Step.
Thief 4: Hold on a sec, I gotta get a better grip.
Thief 2: Yeah, I need a break.
Thief 4: We are stealing a solid gold bathtub!! Suck it up! What floor are we on?
Thief 2: The 8th.
Thief 1: *bleep*
Thief 1: Step. Step. Step.
I just hope that bath is worth it. Do you think they already have the diamond encrusted rubber duckies?
Japan, the country that brought you schoolgirl underwear vending machines and "ladies only" subway cars, has recently had a $987,000 18-karat gold tub stolen from a resort hotel.
The tub, which weighs 176 pounds, was in a chained off room on the tenth floor of the hotel. Now, I don't know what my tub costs, but I'm willing to guess it is not almost a million dollars. None the less, my tub is sealed into the wall. And again, my tub does not cost a million dollars. It probably doesn't even cost $500,000, unless you include the shower curtains. ... and the rest of the house. ... and the neighbor's house. If my tub was made of solid gold, however, you can bet I would have it nailed to the ground, and you'd need a key card and a retinal scan to even enter the bathroom. The hotel didn't have the tub riveted down nor did it even have security cameras in place. I don't know if a sign saying "Hey, just steal this already" was still coming back from the printers or not.
At the same time, I'd like to know how the thieves got the tub off the 10th floor. Did they try to squeeze it in the elevator? It's 176 pounds, did they have to use the stairs? I would have hated to be on the short end of that deal.
Thief 1: Step. Step. Step.
Thief 2: Not so fast! I'm getting crushed here!
Thief 3: Might I remind you we are STEALING this tub?
Thief 1: Step. Step. Step.
Thief 4: Hold on a sec, I gotta get a better grip.
Thief 2: Yeah, I need a break.
Thief 4: We are stealing a solid gold bathtub!! Suck it up! What floor are we on?
Thief 2: The 8th.
Thief 1: *bleep*
Thief 1: Step. Step. Step.
I just hope that bath is worth it. Do you think they already have the diamond encrusted rubber duckies?
Labels: Worzala's Wednesday Word
posted by Matt Worzala at
1:53 PM
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