RIDING THE STORM OUT
Really, I probably brought this on my self.
On Wednesday everyone was talking about the incoming snowstorm that was supposed to hit Wisconsin Thursday. We had headlines like "Storm of The Year!", "Hook Up The Dog Sleds!", and "How Will Snow Affect Brett Favre?!" Now everyone knows the media is controlled by crazy liberals, and its not uncommon for meteorologist to promise us the next Ice Age only to have everyone wake up to a light dusting the next day. Knowing this, I scoffed at the reports of 8 to 12 inches for Thursday and openly mocked the forecast to most of my friends. After all, I'm a hard-hitting journalist with a ton of awards, none of which are currently available to show to you. We'll be lucky to get an inch, I said.
We wound up getting 10. And that’s not counting drifts high enough to bury a six year old.
Everything was closing around us. Schools, colleges, businesses, factories, bridges, you name it and we were getting cancellation calls about it. Of course we didn't close. No, that would have made sense. So at 5 p.m. I ventured out into the snow and the wind to make my way home. No big deal, I thought. I've driven in snow before, all you need to do is be cautious, pump your brakes and give the car ahead of you some room. I'll be fine, I assured myself. Matt Worzala fears no weather!
Here's how the next 7 hours of my life went:
5 p.m.- Get my 2001 Chevy Malibu stuck in a plow drift driving out of work parking lot. Have to be dug out by co-worker with a shovel.
5:45 p.m.- Get stuck turning onto the street to my house. Dig myself out with a camp shovel I get from my house after I walk a block and a half to grab it.
6:00 p.m.- Drive to Mike and Peggy's house. Why? The lure of free spaghetti and Survivor. Now, I HAD spaghetti and could have watched Survivor from my own house. But, in my defense, I am an idiot.
6:10 p.m.- Get stuck in Mike and Peggy's driveway. Dug out by a neighbor clearing his sidewalk.
7:10 p.m.- Craig arrives at Mike and Peggy's, offers to switch the cars around in the driveway since he will be spending the night.
7:12 p.m.- Craig informs me he's gotten my car stuck in the street. It takes four men and a truck to free it.
9 p.m.- Attempt to leave Mike and Peggy's. That's right, Attempt. Car refuses to start. Try jumping the car, nothing. Call AAA for a tow truck.
10:45 p.m.- Tow truck arrives. Says battery is fine, I just need gas. Does not offer to get gas, just leaves. Car is still not starting. I started the day with 3/4 of a tank.
11:00 p.m.- Roommate arrives with spare gas tank. I empty the tank into car. Surprise, car still does not start.
11:30 p.m.- Call AAA again for a tow to a garage. They can't send a tow truck out till Friday morning. "Is the vehicle still where I left it?" No, I drove it home, I just wanted to talk.
So I was forced to leave the car at my friend's house with an early morning tow truck arrival scheduled. Minutes before the truck arrived Craig tried the car and it started. Since then I've had it refuse to start once and conk out on me twice.
I'm spending the rest of winter at home. In bed. With the lights on.
On Wednesday everyone was talking about the incoming snowstorm that was supposed to hit Wisconsin Thursday. We had headlines like "Storm of The Year!", "Hook Up The Dog Sleds!", and "How Will Snow Affect Brett Favre?!" Now everyone knows the media is controlled by crazy liberals, and its not uncommon for meteorologist to promise us the next Ice Age only to have everyone wake up to a light dusting the next day. Knowing this, I scoffed at the reports of 8 to 12 inches for Thursday and openly mocked the forecast to most of my friends. After all, I'm a hard-hitting journalist with a ton of awards, none of which are currently available to show to you. We'll be lucky to get an inch, I said.
We wound up getting 10. And that’s not counting drifts high enough to bury a six year old.
Everything was closing around us. Schools, colleges, businesses, factories, bridges, you name it and we were getting cancellation calls about it. Of course we didn't close. No, that would have made sense. So at 5 p.m. I ventured out into the snow and the wind to make my way home. No big deal, I thought. I've driven in snow before, all you need to do is be cautious, pump your brakes and give the car ahead of you some room. I'll be fine, I assured myself. Matt Worzala fears no weather!
9 P.M.- Attempt to leave Mike and Peggy's. That's right, Attempt.
Here's how the next 7 hours of my life went:
5 p.m.- Get my 2001 Chevy Malibu stuck in a plow drift driving out of work parking lot. Have to be dug out by co-worker with a shovel.
5:45 p.m.- Get stuck turning onto the street to my house. Dig myself out with a camp shovel I get from my house after I walk a block and a half to grab it.
6:00 p.m.- Drive to Mike and Peggy's house. Why? The lure of free spaghetti and Survivor. Now, I HAD spaghetti and could have watched Survivor from my own house. But, in my defense, I am an idiot.
6:10 p.m.- Get stuck in Mike and Peggy's driveway. Dug out by a neighbor clearing his sidewalk.
7:10 p.m.- Craig arrives at Mike and Peggy's, offers to switch the cars around in the driveway since he will be spending the night.
7:12 p.m.- Craig informs me he's gotten my car stuck in the street. It takes four men and a truck to free it.
9 p.m.- Attempt to leave Mike and Peggy's. That's right, Attempt. Car refuses to start. Try jumping the car, nothing. Call AAA for a tow truck.
10:45 p.m.- Tow truck arrives. Says battery is fine, I just need gas. Does not offer to get gas, just leaves. Car is still not starting. I started the day with 3/4 of a tank.
11:00 p.m.- Roommate arrives with spare gas tank. I empty the tank into car. Surprise, car still does not start.
11:30 p.m.- Call AAA again for a tow to a garage. They can't send a tow truck out till Friday morning. "Is the vehicle still where I left it?" No, I drove it home, I just wanted to talk.
So I was forced to leave the car at my friend's house with an early morning tow truck arrival scheduled. Minutes before the truck arrived Craig tried the car and it started. Since then I've had it refuse to start once and conk out on me twice.
I'm spending the rest of winter at home. In bed. With the lights on.
posted by Matt Worzala at
1:09 PM
1 Comments:
"no, I drove it home, I just wanted to talk.." HILARIOUS!
I loved it when they had a snowstorm in Tennessee when I was driving through a few years ago... the radio personalities were mocking some person who had called in and suggested Kitty Litter to help people who were stuck.
The personalities were like, "WAYUL! Don't that beat all! Hee Hee Hee! What a moron thet yankee is! Kin ye 'magine how much that would STINK?"
Uh, not the used stuff, asshats.
By
elleuqinat, at 3:21 PM
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